173. Getting Ready for Christmas and Kicking Out The Stress

Do you get stressed out? When people start talking about Christmas and preparation, you might start sweating a little bit. Your heart starts beating a little and you want to go run and put your head in the sand. Well, this episode is for you. My name is Dara Thomason and I am the quilters coach. And this is episode 1 73, getting ready for Christmas and kicking out the stress. Okay.

I totally hear you. A lot of us really love Christmas. And some of us don’t and that’s okay. But today’s episode is really going to talk about what it will take to have the most amazing Christmas for you? So, depending on what that looks like for you, you get to decide because you are your own boss and what your best Christmas is, looks like is going to be very different from anyone else. And by the way, that’s permission, granted, you can decide whatever Christmas looks like for you.

So that could mean that your whole front porch is and houses decorated to the T, or it could mean that you just have a small little ornament and you call it good. This is your life your way. So today’s episode is really going to look at. How do you kick out the stress? And if you’re listening to this, when it comes out, of course, it’s the beginning of November.

We’re going to give some lead time. Um, if you’re listening to this any other time, you’re going to have some really amazing takeaways. Plus, you’re going to learn a new tool about, um, neuroscience. It’s going to help you. To create this goal. But before we dive into the. Um, the meat of this podcast, I wanted to share a win. Um, it happened. The life of one of the members in my membership. And, um,

Because I really love focusing on wins.

It’s actually a way to rewire your brain. And to create new habits. Now, your personality is your personal reality. So when you can actually see yourself creating these wins for yourself. So I hope that as you’re listening to this podcast, It’s very predictable. I’m always going to do the introduction. I’m always going to share a win and then I go into the meat of it.

So I hope that every time you listen to this podcast, You’re thinking. I wonder what she’s going to share today. And actually one of the things that’s so cool about this podcast, about a membership. Is there a woman just like you who is listening to the podcast and then finally they make a decision to join the membership and then they become the, when. I started sharing their examples because they finally decided to come inside the membership. Get the tools, learn the tools, get the support and learn them.

And then they become the person who is now being shared on the podcast. It’s like a full circle moment. And I would love to do that for you. In fact, I’m taking a course with Jody Moore right now. And she said, I want you to decide right now what the testimonial is going to be. So she has this program that I’m taking.

She said, write your testimonial from this program already, even though I haven’t done it yet. And so I’ve been doing that and it’s really cool. And I’ve, I have had the experience where I have been the testimonial for, um, other people’s programs and it feels really nice. But, um, doing that ahead of time is going to be really helpful.

So just then it’s kind of like a little foreshadow, what we’re going to be learning today. So this is a win from.

Uh, one of my members. She, um, she actually came to my retreat. I do, uh, very small. In-person retreat once a year. And she came and she really learned a lot about herself and she realized that she spends a lot of time. By herself, but not with herself.

And so she’s by herself, but she’s distracted with Instagram or Facebook or watching TV or watching a YouTube channel or something.

She’s actually not being with herself. And this is like a whole new thing. Um, thing that she’s learning how to, to be with herself. And, um, So she has this epiphany and decides, okay, how am I going to do this? And one of the big wins for her was she realized that. The time that she’s spending, isn’t making the connections with herself and others as much as she would like. And so her granddaughter had a big, um, Track meet. Or cross country meet.

So she decided if I go to that track meet or sorry, cross country meet, I can connect with her. And with myself as a grandma. And it’s been so awesome for her. And so she’s putting it on. Uh, side. Uh, she’s prioritizing the kind of life that she wants to have, and she’s having so many more connections. She doesn’t feel alone.

And so now of course the ripple effect is she’s being more connected with her family. Her family is happier. Um, and a more interesting version of their grandma or their wife or their dog, you know, the mother. And it’s been really fun to watch her progress in that way. So if you are feeling like you want to have a little bit more connection with the people in your life, um, These tools will help you to do that.

And again, it’s Dara D a R a, and the last name is Tom Tom ass on. Okay. So, what do you want to feel at the end of Christmas?

Yeah, I’m asking. What is it? So at the end of the day, When everything is all said and done. And you’re sitting on the couch or you’re sitting at the table or you’re doing the dishes or you’re wherever you are. What. Is that feeling that you want? So just spend a minute. Because everything we do in life is because we want to feel a certain way. When I was a little girl.

Um, Chris, I’ve always loved Christmas. And, um, I actually have had a hate love relationship with Christmas. Um, but I just love the excitement of Christmas and.

I remember for a few Christmases in a row. We, the, somehow the TV would have the sound of music. And. Everyone was off. It’s probably around 6: 30, 7. O’clock. And it just seemed, I

i think it was like two or three years in a row. I had this happen. Where. I just. Laid on the couch. And for some reason we brought the TV upstairs.

If they’re coming. And, um, It felt. Like, even though I would feel discouraged or frustrated about the presence and I felt disappointed. At the end of the day. I felt love. I felt a connection. I felt, um,

I was able to experience that. And that is one of my goals as a mom. With my own kids. Having those experiences where they feel completely loved and connected and they feel, they feel, um, known.

And so.

And I’m going to edit out the crying or the pauses because. I think that as we really become.

Who we want to be. It’s a process of really, truly becoming vulnerable with. That version of us as little girls. And as we are now, As we were growing, growing up.

Uh, six foot four, man. And now with his shuffle. He’s really bent over. And he’s maybe like five, 10. And, uh, it’s just really hard to see.

Um,

How different it is. Um, so.

I’m like, I always say it’s important to feel all the feelings, but. Just allowing the feelings and letting them just be, and a feeling is just the vibration in your body. I allow the feeling, it just goes through me and then I’m able to move on.

So now we want to set the bar of what you want to feel?

So I want you to write that down. So you want to feel joy. You want to feel peace. You want to feel a connection. You want to feel satisfaction. Maybe you want to feel accomplished. Like, what are all those feelings? And I want you to get very specific about them. Now, one of my clients I just met with yesterday, she said, Dad.

And then if you, in my program, I have the module seven is, is a deep dive into emotions, but she realized, um, How often. Uh, her inner dialogue just kept her in those states of sad. Anger and fear. So if we are all, uh, our emotional IQ is all pretty low because we really weren’t taught how to feel our feelings.

So I would recommend that you go. Oh, actually, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll just link. An emotion wheel here on the podcast. So then you can just go there and that will help you to expand, um, those emotions. So, take a minute and look at those emotions and then be very specific. Another thing that I do with my clients is, uh, because of the model that we use. Um, it’s called the it’s actually called the model and we have a thought, the thought

creates the feeling. And we will actually go and look up words in the dictionary. Like, are you frustrated?

Are you disappointed? Are you discouraged? And so it’s been, it’s really great to go and look at those definitions. And then you can see. Oh, yes. Okay. Yeah. I actually am frustrated. It’s not discouraged. It’s frustrating. And when you know that it’s going to be so helpful, your body will be like, oh, okay.

This is what frustration feels like. I can allow it to pass through me. No problem. I’m a human, having a human experience. Okay, so now I want you to write, what do you typically feel at the end of Christmas? So, if you ever come to any of my free trainings, quite often, I will have a picture of a girl on a cliff. And so here she is. On the cliff and then there’s this kind of like Gorge, uh, or like a valley or like, you know, this crevice and there’s water underneath it.

I’m so glad that you’re here. First of all, And second of all, it’s so much more doable to create that bridge and to, to become that next version of yourself. Um, in the month of September, I was able to go to Sundance and be a speaker at this big event. Um, Jenna Kertscher was there, which was awesome.

She has like, you know, over a million followers on Instagram, she’s generated like $20 million in revenue selling online courses. She’s like, you know, considered a pretty big deal. And I was the beginning speaker for it. It was very exciting. I became the person I wanted to be. Five years ago, that was never possible because I didn’t have the expertise. To really be able to speak at, at that like that.

And, um, B I wouldn’t know, even know how to put myself out there to be considered, to have such an amazing experience. So I bridge that gap for myself so that I could have these new experiences to help and serve other people. Okay. So the same thing with my weight, like all of these, and these are all happening within the membership for these women is not just me. I have all the tools that the membership has.

It’s just a matter of like, I’m really good at using the tools. And because of that, I am able to create those kinds of results for myself. And that is all available for you a hundred percent. Okay. So now we have the before and after. We have that, like, this is how I’m feeling and I don’t like it. This is how I want to feel. Now, this is an interesting question.

Okay. It’s called the happiness project. And, um, this is actually a professor. From Yale. And it was interesting because here she is at this high, high end university. Right. And so it’s the cream of the crop that go to Yale. And she really, she, as she was teaching more and more that she was teaching there more and more, she saw all these kids who were, you know, the cream of the crop.

Like they were. The elite of the elite and they were more. Had more anxiety. And depression and stress then. Than ever. And she was realizing how much pressure all these kids have. Put on themselves and they don’t have the tools. So being a professor, she thought,

Well, I’m going to create a course. That’s going to teach them how to be happy. Because they’ve kind of missed them. The mark here. So, um, She, uh, has this, so she decided to create this course called the happiness project. And it’s for free.

Anyone can take it now, but there was so much demand and, and the law of the university was the, you could have lots of different classes, but everyone that was taking that class all had to write the exam at the same time. And it was so. Many people don’t have one room. And the other law is the professor has to be present during the exam. And so she was literally running. Because the exam was up at the same time, she had to appear at all the different places.

I have this many strokes. If my bathing suit is wrapped, or if my water, my goggles got water in it or whatever, this is what I do. And he just visualized his race over and over. And of course, when he’s actually physically doing the swimming, he would visualize it as well, but he would sit. Dry land and visualize it. Well during the Olympics. Uh, one of his races, his goggles did fill up with water. And it didn’t, he was upset of course, cause it’s, you know, big deal, but his instincts took over because he’d visualised it so much. And he was able to finish the race and he actually got a goal.

He got it. He broke a record in that race. Because it was just so automatic. And so in life coaching, because we are looking at our thoughts and we are, um, able to resolve the thoughts that don’t serve us. And we’re able to, to work through that. Um, I often will go to my future self. And so we use neuroscience.

This is not me making it up. There’s lots of scientific proof and I’ve given a, um, some article, an article. Um, also that has some reference to that in the show notes. But, um, so one of the things that I want you to imagine. Is to go. To the. Um, the end of Christmas. And I want you to visualize, and I’m going to walk you.

No, I want you to think. About the date. I reflect back on the day. What went well on that day? To just name five things that went really well.

You really, you had your car packed with all the gifts or you. Um, prepare for that. That’s special. Um, salad. And it was well-received. What were the things that went really well? Maybe you had a phone call with one of your brothers from far away, and it was a really nice connection with him.

Okay. I want you to have at least five things that went really well.

And now I want you to imagine three things that weren’t so great. So maybe.

You, you were a little bit late and you felt a little hustle to get to where you’re going, or maybe you slept wrong. And so you felt a little off. Maybe you ate some things that you hadn’t planned to eat. And so now you’re feeling some guilt. Okay. Just three things.

 

Okay. So just take it, remember to breathe or breathing. Now I want you to ask yourself. What do you feel right now?

And now ask, what was the feeling you wanted to feel at the end of the day?

Being now in your future self. What wisdom. Or advice. Does she have you for today? What is your future? Wise self. Say what you should do now. That you can have the best Christmas experience.

And then listen to her. She’s very wise.

All right. So today’s episode, we talked about going into the time machine. We talked about neuroscience because our brain doesn’t know what’s real or what’s not real. So like, for example, when we watch a movie. We start crying. We get excited. We go on this rollercoaster ride. And because our brain doesn’t know that it’s actually not real. Okay.

So that’s the part of neuroscience. It’s really exciting. And so I want you to plan ahead. I want to feel these things at Christmas. I know that I typically have felt these things. But I don’t have to do the dance anymore. So I can say no. And if I don’t say no. And then I start feeling resentment, I can just give myself forgiveness.

Right. I can actively like to edit. My Christmas traditions. So I have given podcast episodes in the past where I used to think I had to do all this baking and now I just give it to my mom to do with my kids. I just don’t do Christmas baking . It’s like no big deal. I’m not a bad mom. So I don’t do that. There’s a lot of things that I thought I had to do at Christmas. But I actually don’t.

And, um, we even do things like we go to Tofino before Christmas.

That’s a place where we go surfing and we have fun and we just relax. Before the holidays even start happening. To give ourselves. That time. So we’re not all hassled and frazzled before the holidays.

So we can make changes. We can, we can, we can, uh, do that. So I’m encouraging you to make a plan now. Even if you’re listening to this in July. You can make a plan. You can start visualizing. It’s going to be so helpful. All right. I have a lot of free training coming up in the month of November. And then I have an amazing masterclass coming in December at the beginning, that’s going to set you up.

That’s going to help you reinforce a lot of these things. Uh, so go check them out and don’t forget you are your best investment. All right, I’ll see you next week.

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