171. Overcoming Holiday Temptations: A Life Coach’s Guide to Mindful Eating

Are you team Halloween or team No way?. I hate it. Let me know because today’s episode is going to maybe give you some insight on your relationship with Halloween and. Really, is it a trick or a treat for you? And how can you navigate? Halloween is coming up in the future. All right. My name is Dara Tomasson, and this is the quilters coach podcast episode, 171 Halloween edition temptations and scary stories. What my expectation for the end of this podcast is for what you can get out of this podcast is to feel more. Comfortable. Around.

Holidays. This one in particular, where we give out treats. How you can navigate it and how this can really be a game changer for you. And before we go into the episode, I do want to share a win from one of the members. And my membership and what a huge transformation it’s been for her. As she’s really looked at this. As she started to implement these tools in the program. This one is a very simple one. But she wanted to stay away from a lot of starches. And she decided that she was going to use shredded cauliflower.

I’ve shared that in the past instead of rice. And she had all these beautiful peppers from her garden and she wanted to make stuff. Peppers. And she realised that when she makes these healthier choices, she can feel so empowered. And you know, she’s in her late sixties, early seventies, and she’s making these changes and I’m just so happy for her. Not only will that impact her life, but will impact the life of her spouse and her kids. When they come to visit, they’ll just see. Such are the big changes that she’s making. What is difficult about Halloween?

If it is, if it’s not, that’s fine. You will still get something out of this podcast. I promise. But one of the challenges with Halloween is we call it a treat. A trick or a treat. And the idea that food is a treat. So I love it when I hear it. A weight loss coach. She’s Corinne Crabtree. She said, you’re not a dog.

You don’t need to be treated. And I really resonated with me because we’ve had, I’ve grown up with dogs and

I think that is what I’m doing to myself? Am I rewarding myself? And as I think about it, I totally have, I’m really guilty of this. I. Literally like when I was with my kids. So when they’re a little. Well, my kids were little and we’d go to a store. I would sometimes especially go to the dollar store, because they’ve got lots of treats there and they’re not very expensive. I would buy myself licorice all sorts.

I’m not kidding. You. I would leave the package in the car. And I lived in a very cold part of Canada. And so I would ration myself, these licorice, all sorts of, they’re kind of like those small black licorice and they have, sometimes they have like pink and white. Orange and white and they’re kind of layers of it’s a British treat, but I really liked them.

And I would ration myself and because they’d be frozen, it would take longer to eat them. And it was part of myself treating myself to being like, you’re a good mom. Here is a treat here as you deserve something. And it was, it’s just interesting to me how I’ve evolved and changed. Another way that I would use food as a treat. Would be, especially if things were really kind of stressful and hard. I would allow myself to go through the drive-thru at Wendy’s and get a prosti. I’m like, okay.

That was like, Pinnacle. And if it really was bad, I would allow myself to go to a dairy queen and get a Buster bar. Or. If I had a coupon. I would get a blizzard. Okay. Or. Peanut Buster parfait actually is what I love. I remember loving. So I am curious if you do use it. Food as a treat. One of the things that I teach inside my program is the false pleasure cycle and the true pre. Through the pleasure cycle. And we look at that. From a perspective of what are we feeding? Let’s think about desire for a moment. So desire is what we, what we feed is what grows. So if we feed the desire that I need to have chocolate to feel good, then we feel sad and we say, oh, I need chocolate.

So then we go to the chocolate, we eat it. Now we get this. A dopamine hit. From that chocolate. And then our brain starts doing the math of, oh, when I’m sad. I got chocolate. And so now we have this reward system. And it’s fed this desire. And now we think in order to have pleasure, we need to eat chocolate. And then that just expands and expands. So, what we have to do is go in and interrupt that pattern and say, actually, chocolate doesn’t. And in the long term, give me any sort of relief or change it just because the other problem is you need more and more chocolate. To get that same level of dopamine hits. I am not at. I’ve never done drugs. I never will. But you kind of get the point, right?

Like you need to have more and more of the drug to get more and more of a hit. Because it’s, and this is the same thing with prescription drugs. When I had, I had chronic ear problems growing up and we, every time I go, I’m like, yeah, I need anaesthetic ketamine. And after a while, That didn’t work anymore because my body became accustomed to it.

It had to change to a different, different kind. When you think of food as a treat, then you are rewarding yourself for things with external or external sources. The problem is the only way we can. Okay. So let me just slow that down for a second. So you’re thinking I’m having a hard time.

I’m struggling. I need something. Outside of me to make myself feel better. So just that alone is. Going to cause you problems because the only way you can ever feel better is by thinking. Better thoughts about yourself and changing your relationship with yourself. So when my kids were little and I was tired and exhausted and I would reward myself with licorice, all sorts. Or occasionally the. You know, the ice cream treats. It was me saying to myself, I don’t know how to take care of myself.

I need to get some external help.

Things to make me feel better. This also happens with things like if you’re mad at your spouse and you’re like, I’m going to show him and I’m going to go shopping. Right. It’s like, you’re trying to create an emotion. By something outside of you, but that, that is where we have that false pleasure dynamic.

That’s never going to. That’s never gonna work.

Before I talk about what a true treat is. I do want to say there is no good food or bad food. Okay. So food is food is food. So even if you were on a deserted island, I have a. I just learned this from a coach. All you had was Twinkies or, you know, this really processed food, it will sustain you. It w it works.

Is it the best? So if you had a whole. You know, a smorgasbord of things to eat. What is the best, what is the best that you can have? And so, And then the other thing I want to share is that. So donuts and Coke, cocaine. Chocolate. Those are good. They taste good. They do so you can say, yeah, they’re good. But are there things that are better and other things that are best for us? Yes. So when you know that. Then you can say yes, it’s good.

It tastes yummy. But I don’t have to have it all the time. And I talk about, you know, these plans, joy eats. It’s so important. I don’t, I don’t want to live a life of deprivation. And, you know, some people just decide. I, for example, have not eaten potato chips. Since well for 18 over 18 years. So when my third son was born, I just decided I’m not eating potato chips because I just got out of control.

And I don’t like that. I don’t like that about myself. I feel. I have a family history of alcohol. And the addiction and I just thought I’m not going to do that to myself. And so I haven’t had a potato chip in over 18 years because my son just turned 18 in August. So some of you might want to do that with sugar.

Some of you might want to do that with flour. It’s totally up to you. My opinion for myself is I don’t want to live a life where I don’t ever have that. But I don’t, I don’t want to be eating those out of control. I want to have those planned. And as planned in advance. Okay. All right. So I just wanted to share those thoughts with you because you know, we have temptations and they’re scary stories and that’s the other part. I was listening recently to a panel with Oprah Winfrey and she had a lady from Weight Watchers.

She had several doctors, women, doctors, and they were talking about, oh, Zepick. And that will go in these different weight loss injections. Which we’re now going to start having pills apparently. But that’s scary. We had Fenfen, we had all these different drugs and we know. So, yes, the ozone Peck is Giving GLP one, which is an appetite suppressant. But we can do that by eating more fiber.

We can do that in eating and prioritizing protein. We don’t have to be. Injecting ourselves with this. The hormone. We can. Do it naturally. And we can also be. Really aware of what we’re doing for ourselves. So, because the problem is when you are injecting this GLP one, not only is it really expensive. But it’s reducing our muscle mass.

It’s also reducing our Sorry, when you get off of that, you will gain most people 70% back of what you lost. So it’s not sustainable. And so you’re not, you’re not dependent. Sorry, your. You’re dependent on it. Which is really scary because now if you don’t get that drug or if they run out. You’re in trouble. So I just am.

Glad that you’re here.

I’m glad that we’re having this conversation and I invite you to. Tell me, what are your thoughts? What is coming. For you because you know, one of the temptations, when you think about Halloween, Is just too. Just like taking drugs. Don’t deal with it. And you know what? You can, you can reduce your. There are benefits, obviously from it. Because you’re losing weight. But one of the things I learned. Well at listening to this podcast this panel was one of the reasons they lose weight on it is because you’re throwing up a lot. What does that sound like to you? Yeah.

Yeah. Eating disorders, right. And, and they’re prescribing this and this is. It’s okay. And I did some math and there it’s approximately $935 a month to have this drug. And if you don’t have an insurance plan, it’s about 11. Thousand dollars. The year. For the rest of your life.

All right. So when you think of food as a treat. Then you’re going to be overeating and you’re hot. You’re always looking at outside things to make you feel better. And then. You have a scary relationship with yourself that you are not old enough. You’re not mature enough. You’re not good enough to take care of yourself.

That’s the scary part for me. So now I want you to ask yourself what is an actual true treat, a treat that feels good from the inside out. So freshly made bed with clean good quality sheets. That feels amazing. That is a treat. What about going for a walk on a beautiful day? What about cleaning out a closet and having it stay clean for awhile?

What about finishing a UFO? What about dancing and laughing today? After that, I did. Masterclass and it just was so awesome. And I just put on some good old, like eighties alternative rock and I just danced. It was so fun. And I just let myself just relish in the joy of having these women on this call and I was able to help them and it just feels so freight. So I want you to write your own list of what are the things that make you feel really happy. And then the next question I have, and this is where it gets a little scary, the stories we tell ourselves. So food is not good and food is not bad.

Food has many purposes. What do you want to use food for? So do you use food for comfort? And if so, is it actual comfort? And be honest with yourself. Do you use food for joy? And is it real joy?

Do you use food for health? Saying to yourself, I’m eating this food because I want to take care of myself. What about an escape?

It’s not just eating the food. That’s escape. What about making the food? What about getting that all may put together like banking and. And maybe freezer meals. I don’t know. What is good? Is it bad? Like you could be doing the same thing. But what is the purpose of it? Is it to escape or is it to feel. Empowered. What about self care? Have you ever thought about using food as a wonderful way to take care of yourself? And is it, or are you. Using it like. Going and getting the hog and dying.

Is it really self care or is it just like more bloating and discomfort? Hospitality. I love throwing parties. I love it. So am I using food too, to have other people over and to enjoy that? So fun. Are you doing that or not? And then adventure. I have a client who absolutely loves playing with food and trying new things. And I myself have been dabbling in that recently. So I just want you to spend some time asking yourself. What is my relationship with food?

What do I want it to be? And when you can get really clear on that, then. The decisions that you make about art become really easy. Quite a few, actually, I think right at the beginning of my podcast. I have a really great podcast called decision fatigue. And. So the idea of this is. We only have so much brain juice a day.

Right. We only have so much energy. So if you’re having to make decisions over and over again, Like, am I going to eat the sugar today? Am I going to do this today? Am I. It’s like, oh my goodness. This is just so much. So for me, And then my eye, my recommendation and my program is I say, listen, We, you can have sugar and flour. Refined sugar and flour. But you just have to plan it 24 hours in advance. That’s it. You can have it.

And that w that is just so awesome because now when I’m baking or if I’m making dinner, or if I’m, you know, doing something, if I want to lick the spoon, or if I want to, whatever that is, I say, oh, no, I’m not eating that right now.

I already made that decision. That’s not happening. Right. It’s like when we teach kids not to talk to strangers. Right. It’s like, we just don’t do that. We don’t talk to strangers. It’s not who we are. The decision has already been made. All right. It is so awesome to share this with you. I want your Halloween experience to be. You know, with temptations and scary stories, I want you to just be able to embrace that and just say, I. Yeah, this is a scary story.

This is hard. I remember I’m just going to share one last story before we go. But when I got my first life coach in 2018. It was. So we started. In like July or August. So I had my, I think I had my first joy eating in like the middle of September or something. And so coming up next was Halloween. And I remember thinking to myself, Could I be a person? That doesn’t eat any Halloween candy.

Could I like not sneak into my kids’ rooms and eat the Halloween candy, or could I be the person that doesn’t eat, like, like go into the box of Halloween candy that I bought. And eat that throughout the day. Could I be that person? This was like such a revelation to me. And I thought. Yeah, I think I want to be that person. I want to be a person that doesn’t. And I remember just having to give myself permission. Yeah. You can do that.

You can be a person. That doesn’t. Eat candy at Halloween. That’s so cool. Era where to go. So, if you are wondering if you could do that or not. I have confidence in you. But I do have to say it was really, really helpful for me to have those tools. And I was building on those tools and I could go back to them. And I could check. On myself and I could. I could work things out.

I could resolve them because I had those tools. So, if that is something that you are wanting, are you ready for. Especially as the holiday season comes, like, I don’t want to be a, like a fearmonger marketing person. But I have to say it has just made such a difference for me and so many women. And. It’s an option if it feels right, let’s do it.

All right. And as I asked last week, if you could please share this podcast with others. If you have a friend that you just think, oh my goodness, they also have fear around food. They also use food as a treat. I would really appreciate it if you would share this podcast with them. My name is Derek Thomason.

I am. The quilters coach. I’m a life coach for quilters. I’m a professional quilter turned life coach. And the work that we do helps you. To really change the way you look at food, the way you look at your body and take care of yourself. So if you’re ready to enjoy the rest of your days. And have healthier both mental and physical health. I’m here for you.

Take care.

If you aren’t loving your current life and hear yourself saying things like, I should be happier. I should be getting more done or question how productive and fulfilled you are. This podcast is for you. I’m Dara Thomas. I’m a professional quilter turned life coach for quilters, where I show you how to overcome obstacles like perfectionism, people pleasing, overeating, overcomplicating life so that you can really start to enjoy your life.

By learning and using tools for your brain to help you transform your everyday living. Are you ready to make these changes? I’m ready to help. Let’s start your transformation one UFO at a time.