Ep #12: The Truth About Gaining 200 Pounds

Are you convinced that the number on the scale, if the number on the scale goes up you’re a failure? I’ve gained 200 pounds in the past two years and I feel pretty amazing about myself.

I am Dara Tomasson, and this is Weight Loss for Quilters episode 12. Did you know you could lose weight and keep it off for good? After 25 years of hiding behind my quilts, I have finally cracked the code for permanent weight loss and I’ve lost 50 pounds without exercise or counting calories. I’m Dara Tomasson, professional quilter turned weight and life coach, where I help quilters just like you create a life they love by losing weight and keeping it off for good. Let’s jump into today’s episode.

So, today’s episode you are going to discover how simple weight loss actually is and that it’s 100% in your control. I know, it’s true. So, we’re going to learn three things. We’re going to learn about how weight loss is as simple as one, two, three. We’re going to learn about why it doesn’t feel simple. And I’m going to share a tool with you, you know how I talk about building our weight loss toolkit? And this tool I think a lot of you thinks it’s more like an enemy because it brings up a whole bunch of shame and grief.

And this tool is called the scale. But I’ve got to tell you, it’s one of the best things that I have for my weight loss success and keeping it off. So many people talk about losing the weight. And I am talking about keeping it off. We’re in maintenance here, for me and so some of my clients. So, we’re going to talk about the scale and how important it is for us to truly guarantee our own weight loss success forever.

Alright, so I’m filming this episode, we’re just entering fall, which is one of my favorite seasons. And it also means that Christmas is coming. And how many of you are planning your Christmas projects? You’ve started planning them already and you have so many exciting ideas. In fact, I’m getting so excited, a month from now I’m going to be at Lisa Bongean’s brand new quilt shop and retreat center. I’m going to be hosting my Love Yourself Thin program live for three days. And Lisa has amazing Christmas ideas and projects. So, I’m looking forward to that. So that’s what’s going on as I prepare this for you.

Alright, so let’s go into the podcast. So, we all gain weight all the time, it’s totally normal and natural. So, when I say I’ve gained about 200 pounds in the last two years. I have not only gained 200 pounds, but I’ve lost probably 200 pounds, give or take. And this is actually really normal for us as humans to gain some weight and lose some weight. And what I think has happened for so many of my clients, well, I know has happened for so many of my clients and for myself included is that we will have an idea in our head of what’s the ideal weight.

And I do want you to know that our bodies all have a natural thinness. We all want to be at a natural weight. It’s really healthy for us. It feels really good. And a lot of us don’t even know what that weight is because we don’t even believe it’s possible that we can be a natural thinness because we look at our parents, or we look at our past thing. I’ve tried in the past and I’ve never been able to do it. I’ve had all these babies. We have all sorts of reasons why this could be a problem.

So, let’s look at gaining weight. And we’re going to talk about this with the one simple, weight loss simple, simple as one, two, three. But let’s say we have for example, beginning of COVID when people were really freaking out. Or I went on an all-inclusive holiday in Mexico this past summer and I knew that I would want to eat more of those foods. There was lots of different kinds of restaurants that had all these different options that I don’t normally have. And so, I purposely decided that I was going to eat more than what I would normally eat.

And so, I knew I would put on weight. But I didn’t make it mean anything about me, that I’m a terrible human, and all of those things. But literally I just decided I want to eat three meals a day and I want to take advantage of these beautiful foods, and these different opportunities. And so, I knew that weight would come on. But I didn’t make it mean anything about me being a terrible human and I started beating myself up. And so that’s such a difference.

I have clients who will have lost weight and they’ll be doing really well. And then they eat a doughnut, and then they eat two donuts, and then they eat more often than they need. And so now they’ve put 10 pounds on and the difference between them and perhaps what I have done is they say, “Well, I’m a failure. I’m a loser. What’s the point of trying?” And then they just go back to their old ways. The body will always go up and down, always. I don’t know of many people that will be the exact weight every single day.

So, we can lose a pound or two, and they can lose a pound or two. We can lose three pounds and we can lose two pounds. So, we’re constantly doing that. But I want you to know that weight loss is as easy as one, two, three. So, we need the upper brain, we need one upper brain, we need two reasons why we’re overweight, and we need three hormones. That’s it. We keep it very, very simple.

So, number one is when we’re in our upper brain, using our logical adult brain we can say things like, “I’m going on a vacation. I’m going to try all this food. I will gain some weight. But I know how to lose it and it’s not a problem.” Versus the lower brain that would be saying the opposite.

Two is there’s only two reasons we’re overweight. Either over-hunger, we just eat more often than we need. So, we eat frequently and we overeat. Or two, over-desire which is the sugar and the flour. That’s the only two reasons why we’re overweight. We just have more food than we need frequently and then concentrated food of sugar and flour.

And then the third, there are three hormones that have to do with weight loss and weight gain. Leptin is the hormone that tells us when we are full. Ghrelin is the hormone that tells us when we’re hungry. And Insulin is the hormone that regulates all of the energy sources in our body. So, I like to think about this as when we go to our car, when we go in our car and we fill up with gas, our gas tank is only so big. And when we go to the gas pump, we fill up that gas tank and the car says, ‘Thank you’. We’re going to now have all of this fuel that we are going to burn.

And every time we use the car it will use the energy form the gas as its fuel to move. And so, as the car goes it will use that energy and if we don’t fill up the car then the car will stop working because it doesn’t have a fuel source. So, if we eat more food than our body needs, or we’re eating the concentrated foods that give us a much increased energy source, then the body says, “We have more fuel than we need and so we need to store that fuel.” And we’re going to store it on the arms, on the belly, on the bum, on the thighs.

And so that’s all that’s happening, and so now we have all this extra fuel that’s being stored on our body. So, this is where we get to get super curious. Why are we eating more than what our body needs? So, I want to ask yourself that. And let’s go to some different case scenarios. So maybe you go to an all-inclusive vacation, like I did recently, and put on some weight. Well, I have thoughts like I want to get my money’s worth. I didn’t have to prepare this food. It’s super fun to ask anyone for anything and they’ll just bring it to you.

This doesn’t happen all the time. I’ve worked really hard to get here. So those were my reasons, and I liked my reasons. And so, I want you to go to another one. Where are other times where you have gained some weight? Or what about holidays? I hardly ever get this. This is a tradition. This is just what we do. What about a birthday party? What about the weekend? It’s the weekend, I can just do whatever I want. What about 9 o’clock when you’re like, “I just kind of feel like some popcorn.”

Or what about two or three in the afternoon. “Maybe I should just go get some ice cream.. I haven’t really had a great day.” So, I want you to think about why are you putting more fuel in your body than your body needs? And I want you to get super curious about that.

Alright, so now I’m going to talk about the tool that most people use as a deterrent. So, I had a client today and she said her day started, and I shared this even in the last episode. She said, “I started when I was up a pound.” And so, she was triggered by the scale going up because she has some sort of thought that says if the scale goes up, things are terrible. Which is so interesting because that thought doesn’t actually have to be that way. So, if let’s say for example you’re pregnant and you are making a baby, you want the number on the scale to go up.

Let’s say you’ve been really sick for a while and you’re not feeling well and so you can gain some weight, which is really good, that means you’re holding your food down. That’s a good thing. So, our brain is convinced that if we put a pound on then that means that we’re a really bad person and that we’re not very good. So, this is where I want to help you see that the scale is actually a really helpful tool. So, when we step on the scale we’re able to see the tank and where we are at.

So even this client of mine, she stepped on the scale and she gained one pound. And so now the scale is our gas meter saying, “You are at three quarters of a tank.” Or, “You are at half a tank.” Or whatever that is. And so now we can see what’s going on. Because one of the things that also happens, and this actually happened to me this morning when I stepped on the scale I was up about two pounds. And I was so surprised because I looked back at my reasons why we’re overweight, leptin. Did I eat when I was full, ghrelin? Did I eat when I was really hungry, and insulin?

Was I spiking my insulin by eating a lot of sugar and flour? Was I spiking my insulin by eating more frequently? And what I discovered was there was certain foods, I had wild rice and I had a wild rice bowl, and I put some wild rice in my salad at lunch. And then I had a wild rice bowl. And that was more carbs than I normally have, I wasn’t really watching my portions. I did realize that last night I was eating a little bit faster than I normally would. And I did remember stopping and eating and waiting five minutes, and thinking, well, I did actually over eat.

And so, when I was on the scale this morning and I saw that weight gain I was able to look through what is the reason, what would be the reason why I would be up this weight? And because I’m looking at the scale as neutral and as helpful, then I’m not using it to beat myself up or be really mean to myself. So that is a really good example of why the scale is so helpful.

So many of us sabotage ourselves with the scale. So just like my client today, she was really triggered by it. Also, there’s some sort of idea of at this age I should be this weight. So, there’s some avoidance, reacting, resisting to the weight that you are. And you’re not giving yourself the opportunity like I did this morning of saying, “I accept that the scale went up two pounds.” And so, when I accept that, what do I make that mean about myself? And then I’m able to look at it objectively and through the filter of weight loss is simple as one, two, three.

One, higher brain. Two, reasons we’re overweight, and three, hormones. That’s it. It keeps it so simple, and then I’m able to become the master of the weight loss. So, there’s three reasons why the scale sabotages us. One, it determines our mood so it makes it a moral issue of saying, “If I gain weight that means I’m a terrible human to myself, and I’m awful, and I should punish myself.” Two, it’s a trigger because it’s saying you’re not good enough because you are some way deficient which we talked about isn’t actually true. And three, we give up and so we feel really unempowered.

So, like my clients who lose that weight, and then they put on five or six pounds and say, “You know what? Forget it. I guess I’m not smart enough after all.” So, as I said at the beginning of the podcast, there are times where over a period of a week I will gain 10 pounds. And I will lose it all the next week or two weeks. It is very interesting when I tell my clients. I’m like, “Yeah, I just gained 10 pounds this past two weeks.” And their eyes just bug out of their head. And I say, “It’s fine. And now I’m going to lose it. It’ll be fine.”

And so, I am learning, I’m always learning how to create that result for myself. So, I more recently did a free training, you can find on my YouTube channel. And it talks about how it’s actually more dangerous for you to go on diets than to never diet at all. And the reason I say that is because a diet tells you you’re not to be trusted, you’re not smart enough, you shouldn’t trust your body, you shouldn’t listen to your body. At 12 o’clock you need to ear this. At 10 o’clock you need to eat this. If you’re not hungry, it doesn’t matter. If you are hungry, it doesn’t matter. It really is telling you not to trust yourself.

And the last reason why a diet is so dangerous is that it’s saying that food has nothing to do with our emotions. So, I want you to know that there are basically four reasons we need food in the first place. One is for energy, depending on your activity level, your body and your age we need between 12000 to 15000 calories a day for energy, just to blink, and to breath, and to sleep. We need foods for vitamins and minerals.

Food is actually part of our own self-care, cutting up the vegetables, preparing the food, taking that time to take care of ourselves. And to nurture others. So, I have five children. And so, me being able to grocery shop, prepare food, plan food and be with my children as we eat and as we grow has been an opportunity for me and for them to feel love and to feel connected. And then the other reason for food is we need food to grow and repair our body and our immune system. So those things are really important.

If not we literally would just have a bar of like a sawdust bar that has minerals, or a pill or something. Food is also important for our body to have digestion, to work through. So, I gave you a lot of information in this podcast about how weight loss science is very simple. We need to be thinking with our higher brain and adult brain. We don’t want to be reacting all the time. There are two reasons why we’re overweight, over-hunger and over-desire. And there’s only three hormones that are involved.

And I explained again how weight loss is truly like we have we have a tank of gas, and if we are putting more fuel in our body than our body can consume, it will store it as fat, it will store it in various parts of our body. And so, I want you to get curious about why are you eating more food than your body needs? And so, when we step on the scale we will see what’s actually happening. So, when we step on the scale we’re saying, eating too much wild rice is not good for you. You need to have more balance of protein and some fats.

And so now I can adjust my eating protocol and I will have good information so that I can assure that I’m going to have the weight loss success that I need. And that’s the kind of work we do in my program where I help women create their own eating protocol. And then they become the boss of their own eating protocol. Imagine that, they know where they live, and their body type, and the kinds of foods that they eat, their cultural, all of those things. And then they can now adjust the protocol for them. Which is exactly what I have been doing for the last two years, well, longer than that.

But I would estimate that I have gained approximately 200 pounds in the past two years. And of course, I’ve taken all that off as well. I’ve been able to maintain that weight loss. So, the scale is there to help us, it’s a guide. But when we use diets and that diet mentality we are not allowing ourselves to have the process of being in our higher brain, learning how to filter out are we overeating, are we over-desiring? And we’re also not being able to be trusted to be smart enough to think about what’s going on to establish that routine.

And it’s taking us away from the whole purpose of the food in the first place. It’s to give us energy, minerals, and nutrients, it is a way to give us self-care and to grow and repair our body and immune system. So, I have gained 200 pounds these past two years and I’ve lost about the same. I’m learning to use food for its purpose. I use the scale to help me learn about where the fuel level is. And I’m always in charge of my weight. I’m never confused or in the dark. I am always learning and growing.

Weight loss truly is like the stock market. So, the stock market, it will go up and then down. Up and down, and it will always be in an upwards trajectory. But even within that there’s little jigs and jags all along the way. That is exactly how weight loss is. Weight maintenance is obviously not as much of an angle. But there will always be the ups and downs. That is just the way our bodies are. We are not robots. We have different reactions to different foods.

And in future episodes and in my program we talk about the other factors that can impact the simple one, two, three’s, the hormones and the over-hunger and over-desire, which I teach in my program. But I want you to know that if you have gained weight, don’t quit on yourself. And that the scale really can be an amazing tool as you really are dedicated to the reason, just like our last episode. Really, what is your why? And why is that important to you?

Alright, take care everybody, I hope you have an amazing day. Thank you for listening to Weight Loss for Quilters. If you want more info, please visit daratomasson.com.

Did you know I have a YouTube channel with all sorts of free motion quilting content? If you want to up your free motion quilting game, I have a 31 day doodle challenge there that goes along with my brand new quilting book Doodle School. Like I always say, make your food boring and your life more exciting.

Thanks for listening to Weight Loss for Quilters. If you want more info, please visit daratomasson.com. See you next week.