Day 26 Service
Let’s all take a breath and congratulate ourselves for getting to this far. This has been an epic journey to work through all of these past 25 days.
So how liberated are you feeling?
This is a process. Be kind to yourself. Be proud of yourself for reading this. You are taking time for yourself. How hard is it to take time for yourself in a meaningful way? Day 6 was self love and compassion. Today is on taking action.
There are two different ways to take action: passive and massive action: both are important. Passive action is reading and watching information. This is important and very helpful. Then there is massive action- that is the action part. Taking action such as setting time aside to think, write, and talk about what you want to change in your life.
I wanted to share some real life application of how taking action (passive and massive) has changed my life.
18 months ago I saw a friend on Instagram say that she was doing life coaching and wanted volunteers. I had no idea what life coaching was. My husband was transferred and we were relocated. I was not happy about it at all and my naturally happy disposition did not come with me. I was so discouraged. I gained weight and felt more discouraged than I had ever felt.
She taught me the difference between a circumstance and a thought. I had those mixed up. I had gained weight. I went to the doctor to ask about my struggle with my weight. She quickly responded that I should just eat less and need to accept that pre-menopause can throw us off. So in my mind I was convinced that weight gain is inevitable and there is nothing I can do about it.
When I shared this with my coach, I thought I had stumped her. Well, she taught me that my circumstance was the facts. My weight. A number. Then I look at my thoughts about the circumstance. Here were some of my thoughts: ‘why bother trying’, ‘doctor said it’s inevitable’, ‘guess it is just part of getting older’.
She then asked me what emotion do I feel when I have one of these thoughts? The emotion that I feel is basically the fuel that spurs me to action. Whatever emotion I feel leads to the actions that eventually give me the results.
So here it went to me. I realized that the emotion that was fuelling me was discouragement and despair- no wonder I kept putting weight on and feeling terrible about myself.
When she presented the difference between a circumstance (neutral- no emotion) and a thought and then I could choose the thought that gave me the best emotion I was THRILLED.
So guess what emotion I went to?
Curiosity.
That was my emotion. My thought was ‘I could be a person who can change her thoughts and get different results?’
She then offered me a 6 week challenge where I didn’t eat sugar or flour. During August and September- during vacation and wedding anniversary time. Again CURIOSITY was the best emotion. I would ask myself questions like, ‘could I be a girl who can celebrate a wedding anniversary without cake?’, ‘Could I be a girl who packs picnics and doesn’t eat sandwiches?’, or ‘Could I be a girl who stops at 10 fast food restaurants on vacation and not eat flour or sugar?’.
It happened. I succeeded. I was able to be successful. 18 months later and 40 pounds less I have had transformation.
The process is on-going. I am mindful every day about my weight. I think about the food choices that I make. In fact, last week was pretty stressful because I made a decision about not quilting for hire any longer. This was a very difficult decision. I did a lot of self coaching, I got coaching from two different coaches and then made my choice. There were a lot of emotions and I did eat differently- I.e.popcorn 3 times. I put on some weight.
When I got on the scale like I do every morning and saw the weight gain, I didn’t get mad at myself. My husband tried to console me and say it was water weight. I responded that I wasn’t mad, I was grateful for the information. You see, my weight is simple the result. So the circumstance is the number on the scale, the thought is ‘I wonder what I ate to produce this number?’, My emotion is curiosity. My action is to be more mindful of what I am eating and perhaps even write it down (being more conscious).
Getting back to taking action.
Can you see how my weight story is continually being written. It is not an approach where I am a really good girl for a while and then let loose for a while and go up and down along the way. This is the diet mentality and clearly doesn’t serve us.
The approach I take is a really loving look at myself and recognize that every time I turn to food it is just one way for me to show love to myself. That is true. I am resourceful and have other ways to show love to myself.
I was able to take words from a coach and words from podcasts and words from books all of the passive action and then apply them through the massive action. I spent time thinking. I spent time writing models and writing journal entries. I took drives in the car talking out loud with my thoughts to get them sorted. I get coached where I have someone who is trained to help me see my brain and thought errors.
All of these actions are essential for change.
All of these actions are a way for you to show yourself love.
