Day 11- Dara’s Life Liberated Challenge

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Can you imagine how much time would be saved in your day if you could learn how to make decision quickly and then move forward?

Remember I am doing this work alongside of you. There are times in my life that I have learned how to do this very well and I have been thrilled. I still am applying these principles. Remember the importance of the journey.

Remember how our brains are wired- the lower brain wants us to stay safe and not use up a lot of energy so it will encourage us not to make decisions especially decisions that require a lot of effort. 

First off ask yourself if what you don’t know is really true? Do you really not know the answer or do you just don’t want to admit the answer. Try to think of an example in your life about this. Think about decisions that you keep putting off, ‘I’ll get to that soon”, or ‘that isn’t really a big deal’.

Second is the decision to be made helped by doing a google search or watching a youtube video? Is the cause of indecision from lack of knowledge so you aren’t able to make a well formed decision?

Third is the decision to be made something that comes through life experience? I call this the ‘live and learn’ decision making process. Sometimes we just need to start on the path by living with our decision and keep checking in as we go.

Fourth is this a stop, study and pray (who ever your higher being is) type of decision?

Fifth are you making this more than it needs to be? For example, having a specific type of bathroom tap and light fixture really that important? Does it require 5 hours of research on Pinterest and then a day of running around to various hardware and lighting stores or do you just put on the timer for 30 min and decide that at the end of 30 min you will have ordered the perfect lights and taps for you.

Bryon Katie said: an open heart is only possible when you have an open mind.

Where is your mind at when making a decision?

Do you have thoughts like: ‘this decision could effect the rest of our lives’ or ‘I do not want to make the wrong decision’, or ‘I could not live with myself if I mess this up by making the wrong choice”.

Those questions feel terrible- in fact a lot of these type of questions brings up a lot of those perfectionism tendencies we can all have. So here are some alternative thoughts:

-‘whatever decision I make I know I will learn from’

-‘everything is figureoutable’

-‘there are lessons in this life that I am to learn regardless of the immediate decision that I take now’

-‘I trust that I will always learn from the decisions that I make’

Common Pitfalls With Decision Making Struggles

When we are so focused on making the ‘wrong decision’ we live in fear of pending doom. The reality is that there are very few really wrong decisions, I would say you know when you have made a wrong decision when the police are after you and you end up in jail. So let’s keep perspective about what entails a wrong decision.

Thinking that there is only one way to do something. How many different ways can we spend a day? An hour? There are so many different ways that we can choose to live our life. Remember the importance of having an open mind to have an open heart? What happens when we are constantly trying to control everything around us?

Some decisions will inevitably cause us more difficult repercussions. It is true. But can we be open to the possibility that those lessons learned in the process will be valuable?

Writing Time

I want to challenge you to start thinking about indecision in a way that you probably have never thought before. 

  1. What is your reaction to this statement: ‘there is no wrong decision’

2. What happens to us when we say ‘I’m confused’ and ‘I don’t know’? These two statements simply hold us back and block us from moving forward. They lead to a lot of inaction and Netflix. What statements would serve you better? Are you willing to rewire your brain to start having a more open mind and getting new results?

3. What does trust have to do with indecision?

4. Do you find it difficult to trust other people and yourself? Why do you?

5. One of my favourite ways to make a decision is to go to my future self and ask her what she thinks would be the best thing to do. When I can put this perspective into my process a lot of times I realize that the decision really isn’t a big deal (light fixtures and bathroom taps). I also get wisdom from her. What is your legacy? At the end of a life will the number of instagram followers be important or the time spent with loved ones or service rendered? 

Check out my video here where I have shared examples of the different decision making methods and some real life examples that have really helped me in my life journey.

I am so thrilled that you are reading this and truly making an effort to live a more liberated and authentic life.

https://zoom.us/rec/share/28o2fpLe6k1OWI2V-RjCXJINT53gX6a81HRP_PULnkpfIw5P66Pd9IJUH5jUYQYu

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