Day 10 Perfectionsim
I often joke with the ladies I am teaching a quilting class to that I am the President of the Perfection Recovery Program.
Perfectionism is something that I know I have gone in and out of in my life. Let me first clarify what perfectionism is in my own words: when something doesn’t go as planned or there is a failed attempt, a perfectionist makes it mean that they are a bad person or a failure.
A non-perfectionist would look at this differently, they would see a failed attempt simply as part of the learning curve. They do not make this mean they are a failure.
I like to think of all those scientist out there who have had incredible break throughs like light bulbs and cures for diseases.
On the website https://www.uky.edu/~eushe2/Pajares/OnFailingG.html His teachers said he was “too stupid to learn anything.” He was fired from his first two jobs for being “non-productive.” As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”
Here is a quiz you can take to see where you lie in the perfectionism realm.
Some of the indicators that you may be a perfectionist are the following:
-all of nothing thinking? Is everything black or white?
-critical eye- when you are looking at things are you being critical and how does that feel?
-unrealistic standards- I would also add unrealistic goals. How often do you lay in bed before the day has started and think of accomplishing so many task? How realistic is that goal?
-focus on results
-depressed at unmet goals
-fear of failure
-push vs pull- pushed toward a goal by fear of not reaching goals
Perfectionist tend to achieve less and stress more than regular high achievers.
One of the reasons perfectionism shows up in my mind is an attempt to prove that we are enough. If we out perform we are able to prove to everyone around us that we are good enough-end of discussion.
We can be perfectionists in an attempt to control our environment.
We can becomes perfectionists to seek approval and respect from others.
When I took the quiz I saw that I was a high achiever.
What is a high achiever?A high achiever is a highly driven individual who has a healthy understanding if what is and is not possible. They recognize the importance of the journey as they strive to achieve the results. The process is more important that the outcome.
So who do you want to be in this?
Do you see yourself fall in the perfectionism trap? Need to get out?
This is where I recommend that you get out your notebook and start writing down what thoughts are coming up for you especially with the implementation suggestions. We are all able to change- 100% I believe it is possible for you.
I love the accessible tips are available on the Internet. Here are a selection of ideas from the world wide web of how to help yourself. I am going to share some of my own home grown strategies that I use everyday to love a more liberated life especially as the president of the perfection recovery program.
- Implement realistic thinking. Help yourself out by saying things like ‘nobody is perfect’, or ‘all I can do is my best. What might be some of your mantras? One of my favourite is ‘everything is figureoutable’.
2. Perspective taking. Look at situations from another point of view.
3. Look at the big picture. Ask yourself it this situation really matters.
What is the worst thing that can happen?
Could I survive?
Will this still matter a week from now? A month?
Again I have given you a lot to think about.
I am so grateful for the new level of awareness I have achieved because it is helping me to be more engaged with my own life. I am not a victim being acted upon by my circumstances. I am able to be the driver of my own life.
Here is today’s video.