Addiction and How to Break Free
In this episode, Dara shares her journey of transforming her life by embracing curiosity, fun, and intentional questioning. From achieving her dream of becoming an international quilting instructor to helping clients design lives they love, she explains how these key ingredients lead to clarity, freedom, and lasting happiness. You’ll also hear inspiring stories of clients who broke free from societal pressures and created their own paths, whether in business, weight loss, or personal growth.
If you are ready to lose weight and change the way you think about hunger, sign up for the lifetime access of The Pieceful Heart Membership! Doors are open and you can find all the information by clicking here.
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
- Why addiction isn’t just about chemical hooks—it’s about the need for connection.
- How perfectionism and self-judgment keep you stuck in unhealthy patterns.
- The importance of vulnerability in building stronger relationships with yourself and others.
- Practical tools for reconnecting with your purpose and breaking free from habits that no longer serve you.
Dara’s insights will inspire you to rethink the way you approach your goals and create a life that truly reflects who you are. Tune in for actionable tips and real-life examples that will help you find freedom and joy in your unique journey!
This episode is a reminder that you’re not broken—you just haven’t learned how to connect deeply with yourself. Let’s break the cycle of addiction and create a life of purpose, joy, and fulfillment.
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- If you are ready to lose weight and change the way you think, sign up for the lifetime access for The Pieceful Heart Membership! Doors are open and you can find all the information by clicking here.
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Full Episode Transcript:
184. Addiction and How to Break Free
Do you suffer from being addicted to, I don’t know, sugar, scrolling, shopping, people pleasing? You’ve come to the right place. My name is Dara Tomasson, and I am the Quilter’s Coach. I am a life coach for quilters and any woman that resonates with what I’m saying, I accidentally became a weight loss coach because I learned how to get to the root of the problem.
So if you struggle with making a goal, whether it’s weight loss or finishing certain projects you have come to the right place. In this podcast, my goal is to help you know that you’re not broken. that you just haven’t learned how to get in touch with your inner wisdom.
And so this podcast helps you figure out what’s stopping you from truly being in your own power. As a life coach, I’m here to help you with life because life is always happening. I have a free training that I would love for you to register for. you can click on the link here. For my free training and see the power of coaching I cannot wait to help you see that.
Are you ready for episode 184, the opposite of addiction? You know what that is? It’s a connection. We are really going to dive deep into why addiction seems so powerful. The reason I’m bringing up this podcast was because I had a member. Just two days ago, I was coaching her and she said Dara, I’m addicted to sugar.
And she said it just like she was telling me the news, just like she was telling me what temperature it was outside. And so if you believe you’re addicted to sugar, okay, let’s unpack that.
Life coaching is fairly new in this world and I myself really had no idea what life coaching was and so I love to share what happens when women come to work with me in my membership or with me one on one and this share is about one of my clients who hosted a bunko party at her house and she normally would really fuss about everything and worry about what everyone would think about her house and how She had to be just right.
And she was able to make a decision on the meal that she made. She made it from scratch. And then she made the executive decision that she didn’t have time to make the dessert. So she ordered these delicious cupcakes and had them Uber delivered. She was thrilled with how it went.
And one of the things that we were able to discover in our coaching call together was the reason she feels so much more. Relax and the reason she is enjoying her life so much more, it’s because she’s not worried about people judging her and because she’s not judging herself. So that is a huge win.
Alright, so the opposite of addiction is connection. I remember reading this story, so I’m actually going to read this article and you can see it here on the screen. Portugal cut addiction rates in half by connecting drug users with communities instead of jailing them.
And I was just like, I wonder what Benjamin Hardy has to say about that. one of the things that he said was, When we spend our life just always on the treadmill, always doing the same things, and we don’t take that deeper dive into our lives, or thinking about our thinking, or having time to read, and to think, and to monitor, we just are living like a robot, right?
We just keep doing the same things. And I love how Joe Dispenza says your personal reality is your personality. So if your personal reality is always the same thing, I wake up, I get this low grade dopamine hit from my phone and then from my muffins and coffee. And then I just go through the day being busy and doing the same kinds of things.
And then at night I just plug back into the matrix, and watch some TV and veg out. And if I just keep doing that over and over again, that’s just my personality now. That’s just who I am. And it was really interesting. So that contributes to this concept of, are we truly connecting with ourselves?
Are we allowing ourselves to really discover who we are and explore that? I’m going to read this article to you, and I would love to hear your thoughts. If you’re sewing, or if you’re going for a walk, just focus and allow your brain to think.
It is now 100 years since drugs were first banned. this article was written in February of 2015. So 10 years ago already, all through this long century of waging war on drugs, we have been told a story about addiction by our teachers and by our governments. This story is so deeply ingrained in our minds that we take it
There are strong chemical hooks in these drugs. If we stopped by on day 21, our bodies would need the chemical. We would have a ferocious craving. We would be addicted. That’s what addiction means. This theory was first established in part through rat experiments, ones that were injected into the American psyche in the 1980s in a famous advertisement by the Partnership for a Drug Free America.
The experiment is simple. Put a rat in a cage alone with two water bottles. One is just water. The other is water laced with heroin or cocaine. Almost every time you run this experiment, the rat will become obsessed with the drug water and keep coming back for more and more until it kills itself.
The ad explains, only one drug is so addictive, nine out of ten laboratory rats will use it and use it until dead. It’s called cocaine and you can do the same. in the 1970s, a professor of psychology in Vancouver, called Bruce Alexander noticed something odd about this experiment.
The rat is put in the cage all alone. It has nothing to do but take the drugs. What would happen, he wondered, if
What Alexander wanted to know will happen, what will happen next. In Rat Park, all the rats obviously tried both water bottles because they didn’t know what was in them. But what happened
It was called the Vietnam War. Time magazine reported using heroin was as common as chewing gum among U. S. soldiers and there is solid evidence to back this up.
So it didn’t want the drug anymore. Professor Alexander argues this discovery is a profound challenge, both in the right way, right wing view that addiction is a moral failing caused by too much hedonistic partying and the
He let them use it for 57 days. If anything can hook you, it’s that. Then he took them out of isolation and placed them in Rat Park. He wanted to know if you fall into that state of addiction,
But the more scientists I interviewed and the more I looked at their studies, the more I discovered things that don’t seem to make sense unless you take into account this new approach. Here’s one example of
In the hospital around you, there will be plenty of people also given heroin for long periods for pain relief. The heroin you will get from the doctor will have if you believe Bruce Alexander’s theory, the picture falls into place. The street addict is like the rats in the first cage, isolated, alone, with only one source of solace to turn to. The medical patient is like the rats in the second cage.
She is going home to a life where she is surrounded by It’s how we get our satisfaction. If we can’t connect with each other, we will connect with anything we can find. The whir of a roulette wheel or the prick of a syringe. He says we should stop talking about addiction altogether and instead call it bonding.
It was explained to me, you can become addicted to gambling and nobody thinks you inject a pack of cards into your veins. You can have all the addiction and none of the chemical hooks. I went to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting. There is an alternative. You can build a system designed to help drug addicts. reconnect with the world and leave behind their addictions. This isn’t theoretical, it’s happening. Nearly 15 years ago, Portugal had been such a manifest success that very few people in Portugal want to go back to the old system. The most crucial step is to get them from secure housing and subsidized jobs so
One group of addicts were given a loan to set up a removal firm. Suddenly they were a group all bonded to each other and to society and responsible for each other’s care. The results of this are now in an independent study by
Human beings are bonding animals. We need to connect and love. The wisest sentence of the 20th century was E. M. Foster’s Only Connect, but we have created an environment and culture that cuts us off from connection. The rise of addiction is a symptom of a deeper sickness in a way we live.
Constantly directing our gaze toward the next shiny object we should buy rather
Bruce Alexander, the creator of Rat Park, told me that for too long we have talked exclusively about individual recovery from addiction. We need now to talk about society, social I want you to think about what actually happens in your life when you are turning to food or when you’re turning to the phone. I once read a book when I was first, I think it was in 2019 because it really has impacted me. It was an Australian. I don’t remember the person’s name. And he talked about every time we turn to our phone, it’s because we want a connection.
And I love how Janine Roth says every time we turn to food, it’s because it’s a way for us to try to take care of ourselves. So having read this article and having seen Rat Park and these different studies. I want you to start making those connections for yourself.
How often are you allowing yourself to have connection, but let’s take it even a step further. True connection. when you do not connect with yourself.
You will not be able to lose weight I’m thinking about people who are addicted to working out and fixated with counting calories and tracking steps. Do they have a true connection with themselves? I think they have a true connection with a version of themselves.
I’m not necessarily thinking it’s a healthy connection. But there is some version of connection there. And so what I would offer for you is the more that you can be connected with yourself. Brooke Castillo says the more willing you are to being vulnerable, the more success you’re going to have and to be truly connected to yourself.
You must be truly vulnerable. And I think about my husband, we’ve been married for we got married in 20, 2001. And when we got married, I was just like head over heels. I thought, This is amazing. we’ve been married for almost 24 years and the love and respect and connection that I have with him.
I didn’t know that was possible because we’re always working on it and it’s not easy, right? But it’s a priority and both of us are willing to be vulnerable we’re so connected to our purpose our family and eternity that we’re able to have perspective and let some things go, right?
It’s a really beautiful life and it’s something that we are willing to really invest in and be a part of. I just love that you’re here.
I love that you’re watching this listening or watching this podcast with me. I don’t want you to be, you to feel connected. I really want you to feel purposeful and I have, so this is my offer for you. if you haven’t figured it out, if you don’t know why you’re not where you’re at, I want you to book a discovery or curiosity call.
I can give you some free coaching. I only have a few spots every week available for that, but you will be amazed at what happens. When you start to share what’s going on and we can see if my membership is What’s gonna be the good fit for you or one on one coaching or maybe therapy? we won’t know until you make that move.
So I want you to come to my free coaching classes that I do once a month and you can go register for that. But if you want to take this to the next level, if you want to truly learn how to connect with yourself so you can get rid of this addiction to sugar or to scrolling or to overshopping over committing, I invite you to get on that call.
You will not regret it. All right, take care everyone.