Have you ever wondered what life coaching is really about and why it’s becoming such a powerful tool for personal growth? Do you feel like you’re stuck in a cycle of striving for success but never quite feeling fulfilled? In this episode, I explore why life coaching is more than just goal-setting—it’s about understanding how your thoughts and emotions shape your reality and learning how to take control of them for lasting change.
In this episode, I break down the essence of life coaching and why it matters for anyone looking to transform their life. Whether it’s weight loss, improving relationships, or growing a business, life coaching helps you stop relying on willpower and start creating sustainable habits. I’ll also share personal stories and client experiences that show how powerful it is to learn how to be happy and fulfilled, no matter where you are on your journey. Together, we’ll explore how coaching gives you the clarity and tools to change your mindset and, ultimately, your life.
If you are ready to lose weight and change the way you think about hunger, sign up for the lifetime access of The Pieceful Heart Membership! Doors are open and you can find all the information by clicking here.
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
- The role of life coaching in helping you find clarity and happiness in your current circumstances.
- Why it’s crucial to rewire your brain for success rather than rely on willpower alone.
- How life coaching helps you connect your thoughts and emotions to create lasting change.
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- If you are ready to lose weight and change the way you think, sign up for the lifetime access for The Pieceful Heart Membership! Doors are open and you can find all the information by clicking here.
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Full Episode Transcript:
167. Life Coaching and Why It Matters
Are you kind of confused about this whole life coaching thing in the world? That’s why I’m doing these series of what is life coaching and what’s it all about?
I think that the more that you can understand. The. Process of life coaching. Exactly my approach. Then you can see if it resonates with you.
And one of the things that drives me nuts when I’m investigating something like a new fridge or I’m getting a renovation in a kitchen, or even like a car buying a new car or making a move, the neighborhoods, all of that. It’s important to get.
Good information brings good inspiration. There are so many different life coaches out there there’s so many. Psychologists and therapists, there’s so many different approaches to solving a problem. And. I love sharing the tools that I have here. And I also love to share what’s going on
I love to share the different possibilities for you to change and grow. That’s why I’m here. That’s why I invest this time, effort and attention to the podcast.
Welcome. I’m so glad we found each other on this whole world wide web. It’s amazing. One of the things that was really interesting.
Last week I had a masterclass and there are many of my members that were in the class and they always loved learning, which is just very exciting for me that they come to everything I do. One of the things that one of the members said was she said, I joined the program for weight loss, but it was so much more than that. Weight loss was a side benefit for me. I’m so happy that I lost the weight and kept it off.
She’s at about 80 pounds and everything has improved. I just felt so much better than when I started. I really loved her being able to say that and share that because of that.
A lot of us think that once we lose weight or once we. You know, use up all of our stash or whatever, whatever it is. We think then we can be happy, but my message to you is you need to be, you need to learn to be happy now. Whether you have, you know, more weight than you want, or maybe you don’t have as much success in your business as you want, or maybe it’s, you don’t feel like your relationship with your spouse. Woo. Is where you want it to be.
Like all of those things. You have to learn to be happy with what you have when you have it. And the life coaching tools are there to help you to do that. And so that is my purpose. That is what I’m always learning and teaching and sharing with people because you do not start loving yourself right now with all of your foibles and all your mistakes and all of your. Everything once you get to the other side.
Once you let’s say you want to lose weight. So if you lose weight in a place of terror and willpower and stress,
You always feel that way because that’s your process. So if you’re building a business out of scarcity and out of. I can, you’re stressing yourself all the time. You’re just working double time and you’re working late. Then that’s the kind of business you’re going to have, and that feels really scary.
It’s not sustainable. So when you go into this beautiful brain of yours, that often feels like a tangled ball of wool.
You can start figuring it out. That’s when you get clarity, that’s when you get so much relief. I’m just so happy to be sharing that with you.
One of the coolest things is as you’re the day that this comes out, I’m actually going to be in Utah. Speaking with some incredible women in the quilting world and outside. So we have Jenna Kutcher and Amy Smart and Carina Gardner Elizabeth Chappell. It’s sort of a retreat.
It blows my mind that these tools that I use every day, Have been able to create so many of the dreams and the goals that I’ve had. It’s not because I got a lucky break, it’s not because I knew somebody, it’s because I’m creating the person who I want to be. I am loving myself all along the way.
If you’re someone who wants to lose a hundred pounds, You need to start wearing clothes that feel good. Like having extra a hundred pounds. You need to put on some makeup. Maybe curl your hair. Just, just those basic things that you think that you’ll do when you have lost weight. Do them now. That’s a perfect segue.
What is life coaching? On my worksheet here. If you’re watching YouTube, you’ll see it with you. If you’re listening to the podcast, you can print it off. Life coaching in my perspective. Is a way for us to it’s like you and me sitting on a couch and we’re looking at your life. It’s like, your life is on a screen and you’re now able to have perspective.
Yeah, this is my life. I was in a. I wasn’t. I’m in an Instagram class right now. She did an audit for my Instagram and she said, She made these observations about my Instagram and I looked at her, I was like, what are you? What do you mean? Of course. I said this, of course. I said that she’s like, no, it’s not there. I was like, what?
I never said that she’s like, no, so if you don’t have someone who’s objective or can look at that and have that perspective, then you aren’t able to get that kind of clarity. That’s the first part of life coaching. It’s like, you can actually start having an objective way, like a mirror of looking at your life. Then the second part. Is that you go into your brain, which we know as you’re learning on this podcast. Your brain has a higher brain.
You have to lower your brain and then you’re able. Two.
Then connect your brain. Whether it’s your lower brain or your higher brain. Two. Your body is now our. I like to use this analogy of. Our brain, of course, is our central processing unit. Right. It’s like a computer. We have a thought and then the brain registers it and says, oh, she’s feeling. Scared. Like if the thought is I’m not going to get this quilt done in time for the wedding. You have that thought.
Then the brain says, oh, I know what that we need to do. We need to start to panic. When we start to panic or worry, Then it sends emotions right through. I imagine like we have all these different emotions, like straws connecting our brain to our body. And so it sends down the panic button. Our heart starts to beat faster. We start to sweat a little bit, because it’s saying you need to hustle, you need to hurry up or you need to figure something out. That is actually how our body works.
We have a thought like I’m late or that baby’s so cute or. I’m worried about the weather changing or the store is going to close soon. I better hurry. We have all of these messages and the brain says, okay, I know what to do. I have these hormones. They are going to come.
I have these hormones that are going to connect with different parts of our body. And inform the body of what to do. If we are not allowing ourselves to feel feelings, which by the way, feelings are just vibrations in our body. If we’re cutting off those vibrations of those feelings, because we’re using a lot of food to not feel or using a lot like overworking or overspending or whatever that is. Then we are in trouble, right where we’re on our bodies now in that fight flight and freeze mode. We’re not.
We keep wondering, like, why am I not getting the results that I want? It’s because you’re not being yourself and you’re not learning how to solve those problems.
Life coaching matters because it helps us understand our brain. And our body. Are actually wired so if we’re trying to short circuit that by saying, I can just tell myself what I want and my emotions won’t follow. That’s not true. Your emotions will always follow. So if you say I don’t want to feel anything. You then are sticking the ice cream or you’re shopping, or you’re overworking yourself that you’re trying to short circuit. A circuitry that doesn’t work. And we see that.
We know that we are, our society is more obese than it’s ever been. We also know that our society has the most. Mental health issues as ever. We have higher divorce rates and all sorts of indicators that people are not thriving right now. There is a lot, there are a lot of people who are suffering mentally with our mental health because we have a brain.
We have to make sure we have mental health. And then physical health. We’re not taking care of either one of those and we’re seeing the rent. Ramifications we’re seeing are the problems that are coming because of that. One of the reasons why life coaching has become such a new concept is because we are not knowing how to really take care of ourselves in our life situations. Therapy has a place, a hundred percent. The therapist is amazing.
But one of the main problems with therapy. Is that it’s always focused as most, most often focusing on the past. And it doesn’t allow you to move forward. In a certain way. In fact, I think that life coaching and therapy go hand in hand. helping you just like with medication. So there is a time and a place for, let’s say, You know, mental health medication because it’s a way to help the person regulate their emotions. Then not so high and they’re not so low. Then it gives you an opportunity to insert these life coaching tools and therapy tools to help you to build that muscle and to move forward. The number, that’s just kind of an explanation of life coaching and why it matters. the thing that I need to tell you right now, and I will sell it over and over.
I will say this over and over. Is that you are not broken? And you are not past the point of no repair. Your worthiness as a person has already been decided. You just need to show up in life already knowing, I’m a hundred percent worthy. Doesn’t matter how much I weigh. Doesn’t matter about how successful my businesses are.
It doesn’t matter what my marital status is or how many kids I have or what kind of house I have or what kind of work. Kind of car. I drive. None of those things matter. According to my worthiness. Now if I want to have more kids. I don’t have them, so there’s some sadness there. But your worth as a person. Is not determined by that. I wanted to share three simple things. I say simple because they actually like it, we don’t need to complicate it the first one is. Three simple things to do every day to help you feel more fun and trust yourself more to show up. You can write these.
Sometimes I, this is one of my suggestions is to write these three things down and put them on your screen saver.
More, or you can put them on a note on the, on your mirror. And yes, of course you will.
The first and it’s simple because it’s just a matter of remembering.
It’s like it’s like a reminder. Oh yeah, that’s right. The first one is life. Isn’t a T. So worthiness. Your worth is already said.
When women say, well, I don’t know if I’m worth working on. I’m like, God, guess what? You are worth working on because your worth is already there. It’s like, you don’t have to prove yourself to anybody. And so if you want to have. A more enjoyable, meaningful life. Then this is what we need to work on. Life isn’t a test to see if you pass or fail. Life is a series of experiences to develop you in a variety of ways. This is not so awesome. I love that. That’s really important too. We need to rewire. Our brain and our nervous system. To remember that.
The second one is curiosity.
Now I want you to think about it. Hanging out with a little kid. How much fun is that?
So fun. Because a paper bag becomes their best friend. A pile of rocks is like, Just the most exciting thing. You can just be curious and explore and. You don’t have those pretences, you can just be. So I want you to practise doing that and you know, I am the quilters coach. We love playing with fabric, but are you playing with fabric? Or are you just buying a lot of fabric? Are you just distracting yourself with buying a lot of things? Are you actually playing and having fun and exploring? And experimenting. And letting yourself fail. Are you doing that? I hope so.
And if not, Let’s practice. Let’s work on that.
And then the third thing. Is to feel all.
To feel all the feelings with unconditional love. You aren’t good or bad, you are human. Who is growing and evolving, which requires stretching and pain. Recently I was having a conversation with my daughter. And she’s been struggling. We all have times to struggle. In fact, today. I went downstairs and I just said to my husband, I’m struggling.
It’s really hard for me to be working. When the boys are home. I’m just feeling this nervous energy. He’s like, let’s go for a walk. So we just did a three kilometre walk. It just helped. Just kind of. That’s okay. Then I made the decision just to kind of hang out with the boys and make dinner. Be with them.
Then I’m. Home I didn’t go and watch the basketball games so that I could work and not feel guilty because they’re not here. I don’t have to feel bad that I’m not with them. I let myself. Just feel the feelings and this unconditional love is kind of a new concept for me. I know that my mom and dad did the best they could with what they had.
I know they did. But I also know that. As a little girl. Who was worried about being. Rejected from the tribe. I put a lot of conditions on myself. I was, I was furiously taking notes. Out of, okay. My mom just made that comment about someone else in a negative way. So I need to make sure that I don’t make her upset or mad or angry. So I was bringing my insecurities and my need to survive. Until I actually learned how to think about my thinking. I was still operating as a 40 year old woman. With those same fears as the five-year-old. The eight year old, the 10 year old, the 15 year old. Until we learn. How to think about our thinking and how to unconditionally love ourselves. So really
being able to love how we love others. When I think about it, The way that I love my kids. That brings me so much joy because I realized that I have the capacity. To love someone unconditionally. My kids. They make mistakes and they do weird things.
I’m able to just love them and have that perspective and just forgive them. And understand. Oh yeah. It’s okay. That we are having this moment right now. That they made that kind of mistake or they did this, or they said that thing.
I really want you to do that for you.
So. I’m going to read a little poem.
Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting. And he has been robbed. The fact is that most pets don’t drop most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just like people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. And most jobs are more often doll than otherwise. Life is just like an old time rail journey, delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts interspersed only occasionally. Beautiful vistas and thrilling versus speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride. Now the other. The other thing I wanted to share. Is actually from my conversation with my husband today, when we were. When I was just feeling that, that poll of, I really want to just take my kids to the beach right now, but I know that future Dara needs. To do these things, I can really enjoy our vacation. I can really enjoy that time. My husband said, you know, it’s kinda like. Riding a bike. When and when your aunt goes up, that hill is so hard. To get that bike up that hill. Or sometimes when you’re riding on the road where it’s just like straight , kind of as normal and playing, it just feels like you’re just, it’s just, it’s not that hard. He’s like, but when you get to that top of the hill and you just like that bike, just ride. And it’s just easy and it just flows and it’s awesome. I love that analogy.
And I love that reminder.
Because when you think about the law, 50 50 to be a human of, sorry. A lot of 50-50 to be at. Balanced human beings.
You need to have space, but the 50 that’s good. You need to have space for the 50 that’s bad. Challenge to you. Are you allowed? The good and the bad in your life. And what are you making that mean about you? I was speaking to a lady recently about her parenting. And it was interesting what she said when her kids are not doing well. She blames herself that she wasn’t a good mom. It’s such a sad story because you have to allow your kids. To experience the good and experience the bad. And in those experiences, they are able to thrive. Because the date and they need someone to trust them to say, I know you can figure this out. Just wanted to share. This episode with you.
As you think about the idea of. Getting a life coach, getting skills and strategies in ways. I want you to consider the idea of working with me. Working in my membership where you come in. It’s like a self-serve menu. It’s amazing. There’s all these different modules. They teach you how to. Have emotional regulation and teach you how to feel your feelings and not eat them or shop through them. You teach you how to have difficult conversations.
It teaches you how to make goals. It teaches you. As a module on building self confidence and making a goal in 30 days, there’s modules on all sorts of life. Challenges.
Not only do you get that for a lifetime? But you also get me as your coach. Have other coaches that work in my program. Which is amazing to get firsthand help. Then even if you don’t want to get live coaching, there’s always this feature called ask a coach. That is, you can write in any question you have and myself or my coaches will answer it. The other part that’s amazing. Is the community of women that are there. You no longer feel alone. And you don’t feel like you’re like you’re broken, you realize, oh my goodness.
I thought it was only me. You see that it’s not. I am here to help you. If you do have questions. These things resonate with you. You still want to talk to me about it before making that investment? No problem. You can come on. What’s called a strategy call or a consult, but in that call, we can have a conversation where you can share with me some of your concerns. I can give you a diagnosis, basically.
Like I’m the doctor that kind of shows you. What’s going on and then I’ll be able to help you too. Be able to focus on what is your prescription? What do you need in order to heal and evolve from that? You can’t wait to meet you. I can’t wait for you to. Truly discover. All of the amazing. Things in life that you haven’t really allowed yourself to believe that you could have. Alright, take care, everyone.
Buh-bye.
If you aren’t loving your current life and hear yourself saying things like, I should be happier. I should be getting more done or question how productive and fulfilled you are. This podcast is for you. I’m Dara Thomas. I’m a professional quilter turned life coach for quilters, where I show you how to overcome obstacles like perfectionism, people pleasing, overeating, overcomplicating life so that you can really start to enjoy your life.
By learning and using tools for your brain to help you transform your everyday living. Are you ready to make these changes? I’m ready to help. Let’s start your transformation one UFO at a time.