#164: New and Improved Dara Tomasson Coaching

164. New and Improved Dara Tomasson Coaching

Did you notice that the name of this podcast has changed a little bit? Well, I’m here to explain why. And how this name change is really going to be more authentic to what’s really been going on as I have been experimenting. If you’re curious about what the quilter coach is and how I transitioned. And more importantly, how that’s absolutely going to change your life because you’re going to pay more attention to this. Well, welcome to this episode.

My name is Dara Tomasson and I am the quilters coach. And this is episode 1 64.

Back in 2018. I didn’t really know anything about life coaching. In fact, I thought that life coaching was weird. I thought it was strange that people wouldn’t know how to live their life since, you know, They’re a certain age. This episode is talking about. These specific tools that absolutely changed your life and they’ve changed mine and they changed the members.

The women in the membership. And so I wanted to present this name, change it to you and just explain some things. In a different way. So that you can kind of get a better idea. This episode, I’m going to share three actual life coaching tools. If you’re listening to the podcast, I got some. Tools in my hands. So as a longer quilter, I use the rulers. So I like to use rulers for custom coding. This is a tool that helps me have nice lines that helps me. Break up the space and create new interesting designs. . That’s a tool. To help me accomplish a goal. So I also have a rotary cutter, so a rotary cutter is a tool that helps me be really accurate. With how I cut fabric.

I have this amazing iron and that iron is an amazing tool. It helps me press my seams so that I can use this as an excellent tool to help me.

I also can be a quilter without a little seam ripper. Okay. So this is a tool. It helps you when things aren’t going great and you’ve made some mistakes or maybe you’re a little tired or maybe you didn’t like the way it came together. And so you’ve got this tool to help you too. Fix or to change or to revisit.

Just like with quilting, we have tools to help us to be a better quilter. Just our life. We need tools to help us live a better life. The most amazing thing that happened to me in July of 2018 was to be introduced to these tools. Just like when you’re being introduced to a new person and they open up so many doors, these tools open up so much opportunity and possibility in your own life. Before I get carried away with the three tools I’m going to talk about.

I always love to share the impact of life coaching. In the lives of the members. In my membership and the ripple effects that those tools have. At the beginning of every call, I always ask my, the members, the membership to share a win.

This is a wind from one of the members she’s been in the program for two months. And she’s down 12 and a half pounds. One of the things that she said that she has loved is she’s just more flexible. Her body is more flexible and she’s able to do more. But she never thought that my. She never thought that not living with as many carbs would be as fun.

She’s surprised at how much better it is. She also is interested in cooking from whole foods and vegetables. Rather than just getting food from a box. She said it’s more simple and tastier. The other thing that’s been happening is that she has had more connection with her spouse. He’s a lot more involved. And the food is just, it’s just so much more satisfying.

She is surprised that 12 and a half pounds down in eight weeks. She’s really excited about it. Keep moving forward. Let me talk about.

These three tools. I’m the quilters coach. I’m an elect coach for quilters and I help quilters get the results that they want. For a L the whole, before this, the whole podcast was talking about weight loss. Weight loss. The reason I talked to focus on weight loss was primarily because that is one of the things that I am really good at helping women do.

But I’m also really good at helping people stay married and with. Building their businesses and improving their relationships with themselves or their spouse or their kids. I’m really good at helping people enjoy their life and increase productivity. I’m really good at helping people save money because they’re not overshopping like there are. Because if you If you came to a coaching call in the membership you would be shocked at how few times we talk actually about weight loss.. Because of that, I’m not truly reflecting everything that has to happen. To get our results. In my membership, I do have specific modules about weight loss science, and you’ve heard them in the podcast before. But that is just one little part of it. Excuse me.

Then the quilt is not finished until you put the batting and the backing. Then he does some sort of attaching the two together. And then you do the binding.

There’s lots of different elements that go into making a completed quilt. There’s a lot of different elements that go into getting results. So, if you want to get the result of weight loss, You do need to know about weight loss science. You do need to understand about insulin. You do need to understand about hormones. That is an important part. But it’s just one part of it. That’s why diets fail.

That’s why even doctors are overweight and nurses when they know the science, but they aren’t getting the emotional component. And they’re not learning how to be with themselves. In my membership, yes, we have women that learn how to resolve these issues. Then they get things like a happier marriage or they tend to host a party and they actually are having true connection with people.

They’re not worrying about what other people are thinking. They’re not trying to control everything. All my control enthusiasts out there, that whole perfectionism thing, it just. It’s not the same. It’s not. It doesn’t have the same pressure. Going back to when I became a life coach, and in fact at the beginning, I thought I really want to just help people know that they can solve any problem because that’s what really attracted me.

When I met my first life coach, she said, I have a way to help you solve any case. Then I thought, well, I’m going to be a life coach to help people have a better marriage. I’m going to have to help them to have a better relationship with their husband and be able to be more intimate. That’d be really great because that happened for me.

I thought, well, I’m going to help people lose weight because I’ve lost a lot of weight. I thought I’m going to help people by being more productive and increasing their business because that’s what I did. It was so interesting. If you actually look at me, I have. If you know the history of my Facebook page or not my Facebook. If you knew the history of my. Instagram.

Sorry. And it’s been interesting because of my website www.daratomasson.com, but I had to have lots of iterations of it. My first one was I’m a long arm quilter. I’ll help you with the quilting. Then it became, I’m going to help you with your business. Then it started to turn to, I can help you lose weight. Just like all of us, we’re all changing and evolving. when you were in elementary school, you wore a certain size, he did certain things. You spent time playing with dolls, and then he became a teenager and then you didn’t play with your dolls very much anymore. You did other things. Then you went to, you went off to whether you went to university or maybe you got your first apartment with a bunch of friends.

I but we’re all evolving and changing and so my business has the focus. Now I feel like being the quilters coach. It’s just such a great reflection because it truly is me saying to you, Hey, I’ve got these tools that can help you. Co create the kind of life that you really want to have.

What these tools do is they untangle all the messy. Then actually, Spoiler alert. But I have a whole new life. Program has, has evolved and grown. I have created new modules for you. So when you came to the program before this shift, you came in and you got weight loss. But you also got modules on which I’m going to be talking about today.

The model 50, 50 emotional adulthood. I have models on feelings, feelings. I have models on. Creating goals. Modules creating goals. So I have all of these. Aspects for you. And so, but what’s going to happen starting now, coming up. Is. I will have specific modules on marriage. I will have specific modules on building a business. I will have specific modules on. Overcoming overwhelm. We already have the perfectionist and the people pleasing the procrastination. And so what it will look like is, so you say, okay, I need a coach to help me too. Build a business or I need a coach to help me with this marriage of mine.

It just seems like it’s so flat and it’s not going anywhere. So then you would come into my program. It’s going to stay the same. You pay once you’re in for life. And I used to keep getting more and more value. And I will say, okay, if you want to go down the road of improving your business, let’s say. These are the modules you watch. And then these are the sequence of the modules.

I recommend you do it in the sequence. So once you’re in the portal, you get all of that and then you say, okay, so it’s like, you’re at a train station. You’re like, what is the destination I want to go to? Right. You got to Europe. You’re like, oh my goodness. I have all these options. I could go to Italy.

I’d go to France. I could go. Turkey. I can just get on the train. I could just get there. It’s crazy, right. Or you’re in an airport and you’re like, where should I go? I can go on into your plane. I could go anywhere. And once you have your passport. Which is the membership. You’re in. Okay. So it’s very exciting.

I personally feel like it’s such a. It really reflects what we’ve been doing for the last. Since the membership opened. Back in January of 2022. So. The good news, good news for everyone. And it’s just, this is one of the things I teach about abundance. And a lot of us have operated out of a scarcity mindset of never being enough. And I really work on an abundance mindset.

Like there’s so much we can do. There’s never any love, There’s never any limit to things. We can always figure it out.

Are you ready for these three tools now? In the handout. There is a question for you. And. What I want you to write down is I want you to write down all of the changes that you want in your life. Just write them down. Just changes. And it’s not that your life is bad and terrible, but it’s like, you know, I would prefer. I prefer that.

So like one of my, the things that I prefer in my life is I actually don’t love piecing, and I don’t love binding so much. So kind of in my, this is an, this is a simple example, but it’s like in my quilting time, I would rather spend my. Quilting time quilting. Free motion quilting. I don’t want to be cutting.

I don’t want to be piercing, I don’t want to be, do any of that. I just want to be.

Quilting. And then what is quilted? I want to. Have someone put the binding on. That is like my dream quilting experience. You can do that with your life. You’re like me. Like the things that I want in my life are.

Whatever that is. So it’s like, everyone comes to my house for the holidays or. I just never go to the grocery store ever again. The groceries have come to me. I don’t know. It’s up to you.

I do want you to direct your brain and tell your brain it’s okay to ask for things that you’d like. The first one is the model. So the first. Sorry, the first tool is called the model. And the model is a way to organise your thoughts. And 95% of our thoughts are subconscious. We have a lot of like autopilot thoughts. Like I’m silly.

I’m funny. I’m organised, I’m random, I’m shy. Those are all just beliefs that we have about ourselves that we don’t even think twice about. And then we just operate from those beliefs. What we do with the model is we’ll take a thought that we have about ourselves or about something. Britta filler, but. The model shows us. How, what thoughts are we having? Because it will show us our results. It helps us figure out why we’re getting the results that we’re having. If we have a thought, let me think of one. If we haven’t thought of it. I never get what I want.

If that’s just a thought that you have, then you feel the feeling is probably sadness. Or apathy or depression. And then out, whatever feeling you have that will generate. Your actions. If you’re feeling apathy, You don’t wake up early or you don’t wake up with a gumption of like, Hey, let’s get going. You probably don’t. Even if you make goals anymore, you probably avoid them.

You probably spend a lot of time. Watching TV or scrolling or consuming. You might over research, you might overanalyze. And so how were you spending your time during the day? Those are your actions and then whatever you do. That bulk of time. That’s what creates your results? So if you’re like scrolling a lot and you’re not really making goals and you’re not really like trying new things, evaluating them and seeing what worked, what didn’t work and then tweaking it and trying new things, improving that. Then you’re the result. You continue to not have a great life. So your thoughts. Always ends up in your result.

This model. Is truly the reason why I’ve lost this 50 pounds and kept it off. It is the reason why I created the kind of business that I’ve had. It adds how I’ve been able to create so many incredible experiences for myself. It’s because I have this way of taking my subconscious thoughts. And discovering them and being alarmed and surprised that they’re even there and then work through them. Then I can take this model and I can make a conscious goal. I can create new thoughts that I can start believing. I can act on those and so I can create those results.

So I truly show you how to create whatever kind of life you want. The next tool, just like when I showed my rotary cutter or my ruler, or like hired. Is a tool called 50 50. I have specific things like small, smaller, smaller pods or individual podcasts on these tools. I talk about my Instagram, but I just wanted to share with you because it does seem like. It does seem kind of crazy, like why coaching?

If you’ve been, cause you can now nowadays you can talk to all sorts of people and there are all different kinds of life coaches. Just like my brother-in-law who has had a doctorate. He is a doctor in sociology. So if someone had a broken arm and they’re like, is there a doctor in the house? Even though he’s a doctor. He’s a different kind of doctor.

He is not the doctor that you want to go to, to get help with your broken arm. The same thing with life coaching, there are lots of different life coaches with lots of different tools. That’s one of the reasons why I have this podcast. I do things on Instagram and I have my YouTube channel because I’m here saying, Hey, I’m this kind of life coach. These are my tools. These are my ways of helping you.

If they resonate with you, if they feel like they align with you, then we’re a good fit. Then I can help you. I will help you with those things. The next tool is the law of 50 50. Now, just like with nature we have. In order to know if something is wet, we have to know what the opposite is, which is dry.

We also need to know the opposite of day and night to know which one is, which. And large and small, we have to have that. The two X, the two different ones. With our life to be a balanced life. 50% of our life is awesome and great. And living 50 is not great and it’s not awesome. That’s okay. One of the reasons why I’m sharing this tool with you. Is that far too many of us have set ourselves up for failure.

Now you think about movie stars. Who is rich? Who are famous who have beautiful bodies. There are lots and lots of people like them there. You know, they’re well-known. They’re still having new drug addiction or an alcohol addiction or shopping addiction or the commit suicide. You think they have it all. How can they, how is this even possible? It’s because they don’t understand this tool. They don’t understand how to be a balanced human cause.

This is the rule book for being a human. We have to have the contrast of the positive and the negative. So even today I was kind of struggling. My kids are around and they’re doing stuff. It’s super distracting for me to work while they’re here. Once my one son was like, Out. Exploring we have we have, we. We’re surrounded by woods.

He found a frog and came running in and he was like, Is this an invasive frogs, this is a bullfrog. I need to kill it because they’re really terrible. I was like, I’m trying to do something here and.

Anyways, we looked at the frog. We found it, it was actually a natural native frog to this area. So that is part of life. That is a normal part of life to have the negative and the positive. So when that comes, I don’t get upset about it. I just say, oh, there’s the Navy negative. There’s me being disrupted.

So it’s like, do I make a big deal of it or do I just say, oh, this is a fun story. I’ll always remember this. And when my kids are gone, I’ll miss those experiences. Just allowing the negative and also allowing the positive, how many of us. Push away, the positive someone compliments us, oh, this is delicious.

You have such a beautiful home or you’ve made such a beautiful quilt. How many of us say, oh yeah, but I have help or, oh, well it’s taken me a long time to learn to do that. Like you don’t even need to suck the positive. Okay. So when you learned that tool, Just like the rotary cutter, that’s super helpful to, or the seam ripper or this quilting ruler. They make your life easier and better.

That is what this does. Then the last tool I’m going to share. Also completely blew my mind. It’s called emotional adulthood. So when I was a little girl, my mom would say, you hurt my feelings. My mom would say or a mom or a friend or a teacher, they would say things like. You are your. You’re really making me mad.

The problem is. So as a five-year-old girl, I thought I had the power to make someone mad. Don’t, I didn’t even know. I don’t even know what’s happening. So scary. When my mom would say, oh, you kids are driving me crazy. I like it. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to change how other people feel. It puts you in a very fearful place of thinking. If I say the wrong thing, if I do the wrong thing, if I, then I will, I apparently have all this power.

I didn’t know I had. And so that’s why a lot of women that work with me have perfectionism, people pleasing and procrastination. Problems because. They thought that they had the power to change how people feel, which is impossible. I’m not going to go too much more into that, but so if you tend to fall into a lot of shaming yourself of I’m not good enough, whatever I do, I’m not good enough. Or if you go to the blame cycle of if I had a better mother or if I had a better, even if the government changed their food pyramid, I would have a better body because they’ve messed me up so bad, whatever that is.

That tool will help you overcome that and you don’t have to fall into that anymore. Just to conclude this podcast episode. I’m Dara Tomasson, the life coach for quilters. Which means I help you create whatever kind of results you want because I help you go into your brain. Which then, of course, when you’re in your brain, it sends messages to your body and that the hormones are communicating. I help you create peace in your life.

I helped you create power, like actually having the power to change. Because I’m teaching you tools to do that. I want to invite you to print off the worksheet. And to write, start writing down 10 things\ that change you want in your life. So these are different results. So the result would be like a finished quilt. Or vacation with a spouse without lots of fighting. Or lose a hundred pounds.

Whatever those are. Because remember. I don’t know if you knew this. But this is the most important thing. Your worth as a person has already been set. You don’t have to lose weight. You don’t have to change at all. You are a beautiful human, amazing and wonderful. So it sounds more fun to you, or if you want to try something else. That’s fun. Then I’m there to help you. I have tools. Actual tools to help you.

All right. I love you all you guys, and I hope you all have an amazing day. Alright, bye.

If you aren’t loving your current life and hear yourself saying things like, I should be happier. I should be getting more done or question how productive and fulfilled you are. This podcast is for you. I’m Dara Thomas. I’m a professional quilter turned life coach for quilters, where I show you how to overcome obstacles like perfectionism, people pleasing, overeating, overcomplicating life so that you can really start to enjoy your life.

By learning and using tools for your brain to help you transform your everyday living. Are you ready to make these changes? I’m ready to help. Let’s start your transformation one UFO at a time.