163. Stress for Good and Evil Till Death Do Us Part

Are you pretty stressed out and not sure exactly what to do? Well, you’re not alone. In fact, stress is one of the leading causes of difficulty for humans all around the world. And. According to the w H O. There is a stress guide that they have published in many many languages. I am here to help you to learn more about stress, how it affects your life. What you can do to manage it.

Then the most important part is trusting yourself that you’re going to follow through. if you are ready for that transformation, you are ready for episode 1 63, the quilters podcast, I’m Dara Tomasson, and this is stress for good and evil till death do us part. Are you ready?

This episode is going to be one of those episodes where it’s going to be very practical. You will want to come back and listen to it again and again, because of the work that we’re going to be doing. And the help that I’m going to be offering you. In learning how to build trust with yourself, you can overcome stress. Now, before we dive into the bulk of the podcast, I love to share the wins of the members in my membership and how the work that they do. How the ripple effects Influences their family and friends and community.

One of my clients just finished a quilt that she started in 2021. It was a block of the month and she was able to not only finish that one, but another one. She had two finishes in one week. The benefit of that is that now those quilts who she’s meaning to give them to are now getting into the hands of those.

She loves and they can feel her love and know that. That every time they use that quilt, it’s a way to think of how much. They are loved by this member.

Knowing that someone loves you and knowing someone cares about you that much to put that kind of effort in. That reduces people’s stress.

one of the tips that the, who says we need to do for stress now I recognize that you could just do a Google search and say, how do you reduce stress?

But today we’re going to go deeper into it. I am just going to explain the kind of foundation for stress. Then we’re going to do some work to help you to create some habits. Develop trust with yourself that you can work through these problems the definition of stress, according to the who, the worldwide health organization. Stress can be defined as a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation.

Stress is a natural human response that prompts us to address challenges and threats in our lives. Everyone experiences stress to some degree, the way we respond to stress. However, it makes a big difference to our overall well being. Stress affects both the mind and the body. A little bit of stress is good and can help us perform daily tasks. In fact, did you know that your cortisol is higher in the morning when you wake up? Because it’s our natural way of saying, okay. Let’s get going. Too much stress can cause physical and mental health problems.

Learning to cope with stress can help us feel overwhelmed. Less overwhelmed supports our mental and physical wellbeing. We know that stress causes. weight gain, because we’ve got an increase of cortisol. It gives us a surge of energy. The insulin gets going. We can actually be stressed, even if we’re not.

Even if we’re eating really good food, we can still gain weight because if we’re not managing our stress, We also lack confidence with stress. There’s so many repercussions of stress. Who says we need these are the things that we need to do to reduce stress. The first one is to keep a daily routine.

Having a daily schedule can help us use our time efficiently. And effectively. feel more in control. Set time for regular meals with family members, exercise daily chores. Other recreational activities. When I was a school teacher, it was really important to have a routine for the students. As a mom, I also did that because I knew that predictability. Would help them so much, especially when they’re learning so much.

If their routine is all over the place, you’re using up a lot of energy to just do the basics. Number that was number one. Number two is get plenty of sleep.

Now I hear you all from my menopause girls. I get it. We can have stress with menopause because we’re not getting that same estrogen, progesterone, testosterone any longer. But if you go back to my podcast about menopause and then inside a membership, I have a deep dive into it. It can really help you with managing your hormones and really learning how to get that sleep that we need so much. Getting enough sleep is important for both mind and body sleep repairs, relaxes and rejuvenates our body and can help reverse. The effects of stress.

So this is another double handout. Getting enough sleep. Be consistent, go to bed at the same time. It Is interesting because recently I went to bed really late and I haven’t done that in a long time and it definitely has taken a bit of a toll. To get back into like a healthier sleep hygiene. If possible, make your sleeping area dark, relaxing, and comfortable temperature. I find that having a little bit cooler temperature is helpful. Limit your use of electronic devices.

Such as TV, computers and smartphones before sleeping. Avoid large meals, caffeine and alcohol before bedtime. Then get more exercise and it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to have your heart rate at a certain part point for a certain amount of time, but just getting out there and exercising is going to be helpful.

Walking is really, really powerful and kind of underrated. I would encourage you to even walk. Connecting with others. Keep in touch with family friends and share your concerns and feelings with people you trust. Connecting with others can lift our mood and help us feel less stress. Of course limiting how much. Social media connection versus true connection.

That’s a huge one. Limit time following news. Now I think this is kind of timely with the American election coming up.. I want to talk about it. How do you trust yourself? Two. Have a routine. To get sleep. To connect with others to eat healthy. To get some regular exercise and limit your time on the news. How do you build trust with yourself to do that? And that is why I want to, To base the rest of my podcast on now.

We only know what we know from what we’ve observed. Until we put an intention or a mirror. In our thinking, we aren’t able to change. We’ll just keep repeating the same. How do you build trust with yourself on how to follow through on what, you know you need to be doing? . We know we need to do these things, but why aren’t we. I have a little mini trampoline in my studio. I don’t go on it every day. I have weights in my studio.

I don’t go on them every day. Even though we know what we should do, why aren’t we doing it? The answer is looking at your mind. Looking at the way, you’re thinking, because your thoughts. They influence. Your feelings. Your feelings dictate your actions, right? Because your feelings are the fuel for your actions and then whatever you spend,

That’s how you guarantee your results. If you feel energized and committed let me give you an example. If you have a thought, I know I can figure this out and the circumstance could be weight loss. It could be a quilt. It could be volunteering. Job that you were given. And then the feeling is commitment. That feeling of commitment like that inner courage and that dedication, then your actions are going to be. Try something, fail, evaluate, retry.

Right? Basically it’s gonna be something like that. Ask for help or whatever that is. And then that means that you’re the result. The action is going to be. You figure it out. Now the fuel, that feeling is going to keep you going. Now if you are. Avoiding your brain, if you’re scrolling a lot or if you’re eating a lot or if you’re blaming. People are looking for excuses.

Staying in those indulgent emotions of worry. You’re not going to be able to get that emotional fuel to go into making the actions that need to move the dial. When we learn to control our mind and look at our thoughts, we can. Really makes a difference. I’m going to read this. This is, An exercise from. Louise Hay’s on how you can heal your life. It’s really helpful because. in order for you to become your true self to create permanent change, to become who you really want to be. You have to be willing to go into your brain and you have to. Rewire it. You really do.

You cannot stay the same and create different results. That’s the definition of insanity, right? In order to do that, we need to learn how to train that brain. I like this is a different take, I have lots of tools in my membership that help us to. Train our brain there’s different skills. But this is a new take. Well, this is a I really liked the way that she describes this.

I like the example that she used. Now, if you have a little child who has been allowed to stay up late as he wishes for a long time. Then you have made a decision that you now want this child to go to bed at eight o’clock every night. What do you think the child will do? The first night. What do you do? What do you think the first night will be like? The child’s will rebel against this new rule and may kick and scream and do his or her best to stay out of bed. If you relent at this time, the child wins and we’ll try to control you forever. However, if you calmly stick to your decision and firmly insist that this is the new bedtime. The rebellion will lessen. In two or three nights, the new routine will be established. It is the same thing with your mind.

Of course it will rebel at first. It does not want to be retrained. But you are in control and if you stay focused in front.

In a very short time the new way of thinking will be established. You will feel so good to realize that you are not a helpless victim of your own thoughts. But rather a master of your mind. I see this time and time again, and as a parent I do have red headed kids and they do have a reputation for being stubborn.

We actually say steadfast. I had to really drive it to the boundary and then hold that boundary. This is an exercise that I want to invite you to just close your eyes. We’re going to do two exercises. This is going to help you release stress. As you do that, It’s going to help you to be more centered and more grounded and allow those emotions of commitment and dedication and perseverance and curiosity and devotion to be in your life.

That fuel is going to allow you to create actions that will help you to work through the stress and we will be able to have these healthy habits of sleep routines, connecting with others, eating healthy, exercising regularly and limiting your time. Following the news. By doing this, you’re going to be able to show up in a more powerful way. As you, I want you to take a deep breath, so I want you to, so this one is called, letting go. So, first of all, take a deep breath.

And as you exhale, allow all the tension to leave your body. Let your scalp and your forehead and your face. Relax. It will probably be helpful to close your eyes. Let your tongue and your throat. And your shoulders relax.

Let your back and your abdomen and your pelvis.

Relax. Let your breathing be at a piece. Let your breathing be at peace as you relax your legs and feet.

Notice how much you hold on. If you are holding on with your body.

Notice how much you are holding on. If you are doing it with your body, you are doing it with your mind. In this relaxed, comfortable position. I asked, say to yourself, I am willing to let go. I release. I let go. I release all tension. I release all fear. I release all anger. I release all guilt. I release all sadness. I let go of old limitations. I let go.

I am at peace. I am at peace with myself. I am at peace with the process of life. I am safe. You can do this over and over again. As you do this you’re going to start feeling more peaceful in your body. I want to remind you. You don’t have to be at the ideal weight for you to feel good in your body.

Okay. It’s really important. I just want you to be. In your mind, connecting in your body, releasing the pressure, releasing the tension. Now she continues to say, sometimes we need to experience a physical letting go. Sometimes we just need to yell. Just scream. You might need to hit a pillow. I find that by dancing, that’s a really good release for me. I’m just talking out loud. Sometimes I do kind of a nervous kind of jitter, but that’s really, really helpful to me. Now one of the troubles that we have with stress is that our body has muscle memory. So let’s say we are, Wanting to. Not eating well.

We really want to focus on just having urges and. Knowing that we’re not going to snack. We are, maybe, scrolling and we see a really yummy recipe that’s being shown, or maybe we find ourselves in the kitchen again, because that’s what we tend to do. Because we have this fear of, I don’t want to be out of control with food, or I don’t know how to resolve my problem. When that happens we are bringing up this old memory of I’ve failed. Many times I’ve tried so many times I’m such a loser. We have these past thoughts, like, for example, because I did not get invited to the high school prom.

I cannot enjoy my life today or because I didn’t pass my grade seven piano exam. I can’t feel good about myself or I’m still not very good at French vocabulary or verb conjugation, conjugation. I’m just not a very successful person. Then or because I’m not, I’m no longer married.

I cannot live a full life today or because I was hurt by a remark once I can never trust anyone again.

These are these old thoughts? I called. These are like the false anchor thoughts. I have the anchor thought of. Like I can do all sorts of things. I’m amazing. I’m a, I’m a, I’m a worth. But we have these false anchor thoughts that are like, kind of like tethers, or imagine that like a rope. Like that tethers you back and doesn’t allow you to move forward. So this is an exercise that you can do.

That’s going to help you to move forward and to release. Those tethers. So just take a breath. Bring it in. Hold onto it and let it go. And if it’s going to help you to close your eyes. Just to attack, just to connect with your body.

Okay.

So let us now clean up the past in our minds and release the emotional attachment to it. Allow the memories to just be memories. If you think back to what you used to wear in third grade. Usually there is no emotional attachment. It’s just a memory. It can be the same for all of the past events in our lives.

As we let go, we can become free to use all of our mental power. To enjoy this moment and create a great future. List all the things that you are willing to let go of. How willing are you to do this? Notice your reactions, what will do to let these things go. How willing are you to do so?

What is your resistance level?

So in order to release that. We need the next step is forgiveness. And forgiveness of ourselves and of others releases us from the past. In order for us to do that, there’s an exercise by Emmet Fox for dissolving resentment. And I want to share that with you. So he recommends that you sit quietly, close your eyes and allow your mind and body to relax. So always calm yourself. Your. Sympathetic nervous system. Put your hand on your heart and just take some deep breaths.

I’ve talked to you about it. I’ve talked to you in the past about box breathing. So you breathe in for four and you breathe out for four and you breathe in for four. You breathe out for four. And you just do this four times and that’s going to get you. Into the parasympathetic nervous system. Then imagine yourself sitting in a darkened theater. And in front of you is a small stage. On that stage, the person you resent the most. It could be someone in the past or present living or dead. When you see this person clearly. I visualize. Good things happening to this person. Things that would be meaningful to him. See him smiling and happy.

This is going to be a challenge. Because you have resentment towards this person. Hold this image for a few seconds, then let it fade away. I like to add another step and this is Louise Hay’s talk. As this person leaves the stage, put yourself up there. See good things happening to you. See yourself smiling and happy. Be aware that the abundance of the universe is available to all of us. So this exercise dissolves the dark clouds of resentment.

Most of us carry. For some, it will be very difficult to do. Each time you do it, you may get a different person. Do it once a day. A month. Or however often you want to feel a little bit lighter.

So I’m just going to do those two exercises and there’s more that we can do. But. As you do these kinds of things go into your body. And releasing some of this pressure that we feel. What that’s going to do is it’s going to help our body have a new memory of. It’s to have stress in my body. It’s

That these memories and these situations have happened. But it’s also. I’m able to overcome these. I am amazing. My body is amazing. My body has this nervous system. That is working for me. With a sympathetic nervous system. That’s always letting me know if there’s danger. But my body also has this parasympathetic nervous system that helps me be calm and feel relaxed. I have an amazing body.

The more that I connect with myself and the more that I untangle, all these messy, messy thoughts. The more I can trust myself and I can show up for myself. And the world health organization tells me. In order for me to have less stress, I can have a, I need to prioritize having a healthy routine. I need to prioritize having sleep.

I need to prioritize connecting. Meaningfully with others. I need to prioritize eating healthy. I need to prioritize exercising and I need to prioritize not following the news. And when I listened to podcasts. Then she actually even gives me more tools to help me build more self confidence with myself.

And I don’t have to be afraid of the thoughts that I have and I can release resentment and I can release these things. I am living in this amazing body and this amazing world with so much support. So that’s what I want to offer you in this episode today. Again, it’s a double pager. I’m here to help you.

So it’s the end of August that I’m releasing this podcast and the month of September, we are going to be moving forward in a way that helps us to continue to be our own best boss. It is my goal to help all women that listen to this. To resonate with what I say.

It is my goal as a life coach. To help you to truly create the life that you want. The only way that you’re going to have success with that is that you need to connect your brain to your body and then your body back to your brain. When you start learning how that all You start having results like permanent loss. More with your spouse.

If you have a spouse, more connection with anybody, any. When you come in contact with, you’re going to be more productive. You’re going to save money because you’re, and you’re going to save because you’re not overspending and you’re not over-scrolling. It is incredible to watch the women in my program. I make such huge strides in their life. And I want that for you. You are always your best investment.

Your brain is your best investment. When you learn these tools, you create these new results in your life. You will be amazed at what you can create. And I can’t wait to celebrate those with you. Are you ready to join? There’ll be no perfect time. Because life always happens.

So take advantage of this opportunity now. And just come and join us. The doors are open and I’m waiting for you. You are not broken. You are not past repair. I promise you can create the life that you really want.

If you aren’t loving your current life and hear yourself saying things like, I should be happier. I should be getting more done or question how productive and fulfilled you are. This podcast is for you. I’m Dara Thomas. I’m a professional quilter turned life coach for quilters, where I show you how to overcome obstacles like perfectionism, people pleasing, overeating, overcomplicating life so that you can really start to enjoy your life.

By learning and using tools for your brain to help you transform your everyday living. Are you ready to make these changes? I’m ready to help. Let’s start your transformation one UFO at a time.