#143: Weight Loss and ADHD with Jenn Watts

Weight Loss and ADHDHave you struggled with an ADHD diagnosis or suspect you might have it and are struggling to lose weight? Today I have a special guest, Jenn Watts who is an advanced certified weight loss coach specializing in helping women with ADHD. Together we address the unique challenges women with ADHD encounter, such as misdiagnosis, internalized hyperactivity, and the extra mental effort required for everyday tasks leading to exhaustion and weight gain.

Jen shares her personal journey of being diagnosed with ADHD later in life and how it sparked her passion for aiding other women facing similar struggles with weight loss. The conversation extends into an exploration of overcoming societal misjudgments, parenting oneself with kindness, and utilizing understanding and compassion to navigate weight loss successfully.

Jennifer Watts Instagram
CALM Method for weight loss with ADHD

Weight Loss for Quilters | Weight Loss and Self-Sabotage 

If you are ready to lose weight and change the way you think about hunger, sign up for the lifetime access membership for Love Yourself Thin! Doors are open and you can find all the information by clicking here.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • The three types of ADHD
  • Challenges that women with ADHD may encounter
  • The impact that ADHD has on weight

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • If you are ready to lose weight and change the way you think, sign up for the lifetime access membership for Love Yourself Thin! Doors are open and you can find all the information by clicking here.
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Full Episode Transcript:

Dara Tomasson Podcast

143. Weight Loss and ADHD with Jenn Watts

Dara: Okay, this is a very exciting time in the podcast. I don’t have a lot of guests, but when I met Jen, we just knew it had to be that she had to come on my podcast so Jen, introduce yourself because this is such a needed area in the weight loss sphere. 

Jen: Yes, hi everyone. My name is Jen. I’m actually a CPA turned life coach. An advanced certified weight loss coach, a life coach, a nutrition coach. And I help women with ADHD who are pursuing weight loss. As somebody who has ADHD myself. And when I was diagnosed, late diagnosed, as many women are. It was like crazy light bulb moment for me realizing the connections there. So I am like passionate and on a mission to help as many women with ADHD as possible to see the connection there and help them with their weight loss journey.

Dara: I love it so much. I think this morning, you know, we scroll on Instagram. I think I saw a stat about how many women were undiagnosed with ADHD and it was astounding to me.

Jen: Yeah, it is. It is pretty shocking. It’s It’s so different, it tends to be quite different the way it presents in women compared to men, and especially compared to boys, because that’s what everybody thinks when they think of ADHD. They think of hyperactive little boys and that type of stuff. And so girls kind of get overlooked because it’s a lot more internalized. And then we grow into women who are really struggling with a lot of this stuff internally. And so it easily gets overlooked. It’s often misdiagnosed as anxiety, depression, bipolar a variety of other things. And so they believe there is a, a large amount of women who are not diagnosed. But as it stands right now, they, I think the stat, the last stat that I saw said that there’s around 3 to 4 percent of adults with ADHD. And in the USA, I think was where, where the stat was, but I think I saw something similar to what you did saying that probably five to 9 percent of women have it, but the majority of them might be undiagnosed. 

Dara: Yeah. It was interesting because before I had kids and then when I started having kids, I was a school teacher and I taught grade five and six and I had my ADHD boys. And the more I learned about them and that I realized there, there are some girls in my class that struggle, but they aren’t choosing to act out. And it was, it was interesting at one point I had two sisters in my class because I had a multi age classroom and their dad actually became homeless. And he was killed and it was a very traumatic event for both of them, but it was so fascinating to me how the one sister acted out and the other one just internalized. And that’s, I think that’s very also similar to ADHD, that some act out and they are like crying for help. Help me, help me, or I don’t know how to manage myself. And they’re just like that kind of person. Whereas there’s a lot that are, it’s an internal thing. And they just bring it inside and they just escape into other worlds because they just aren’t, it’s their way of coping. 

Jen: Yeah. And that’s, I mean, there’s, there’s sort of three types of ADHD. There’s the hyperactive type. There’s the, um, the inattentive type. And then there’s the combined, which is both of them women and girls tend to be more of the inattentive type or combined. I myself am combined. But the hyperactivity aspect of that tends to be internal as well. So you think racing mind you know like just kind of, you know, Like there’s just this, it’s hard to describe it. It’s like this pulsating feeling. It’s like a chaos that goes on all the time but with girls, like, that’s very commonly what it is, is that it’s the inattentive type. They’re daydreaming, they’re not paying attention, and they may, they’re usually very intelligent, but can’t complete their work because they can’t focus or they can’t pay attention, but it’s not because they’re bouncing off the walls. It’s because they’re they’re just kind of elsewhere. 

Dara: Yeah. And that, that was something I had to be really aware of as a school teacher because and now as a mom of five kids, I have, one of my children, he’s just out there all the time and just so loud. And then I have another one who’s just so quiet. And I have to remind myself, have I spoken to that one child yet? And in the classroom, I really had to, because there was, you know, 27 kids because some kids could just get lost, right? Because other kids just take up so much more attention. And I think this is a good segue of looking at what’s happening in your brain when you are feeling lost or you’re feeling like cluttered and how that affects your weight.

Jen: Oh my gosh, it’s, it’s so pervasive because I mean it is obviously we focus on weight, but you can kind of see it sort of manifest in other areas of life, such as like even just like you said internal clutter but also external clutter. There’s often a lot of that happening, or financial troubles or any of those types of things. But in terms of the weight, it’s, yeah, it’s this constant feeling of, for a lot of people we have a certain amount of mental capacity for decision making, for like just the mental effort that it takes to do everyday things. And for people with ADHD, it takes a lot more mental effort. So quite often it’ll be like, you know, what would be a normal mundane thing for a neurotypical person is actually quite exhausting for somebody with ADHD. And then when you think about how much drain that does to you, so it might be 9am and already you’re like, I’m, I am mentally exhausted. And especially for somebody who’s undiagnosed that can feel really like there’s a lot of self judgment and shame that goes along with that because you think what’s wrong with me like why can’t I just do stuff like everybody else. So that tends to kind of perpetuate the behaviors that lead to weight gain with things like, you know, being disorganized and then you don’t have the right foods on hand and you’re eating out all the time or you look to food for dopamine because we’re low in dopamine, you’re looking for that crunch or that a certain sensation or you’re bored or you’re in discomfort and so just like anybody, you know, seeks to like eliminate the discomfort and food is a good resource for that for a lot of people.

So, yeah, it’s just a lot of that is, is really comes down to mental exhaustion. And, and then it turns into this cycle where it’s, you know, sort of just not disordered, but dysregulated eating. And then a lot of overeating in the evenings, especially. to try to compensate for that. And then this, it turns into this repetitive cycle where you’re so upset with yourself at the end of the day, but also exhausted and racing mind and can’t sleep properly, you wake up in the morning, you’re not rested. And then the cycle starts all over again, and you think I’m going to be so good this day. And then you’re exhausted again, and it happens all over again. And so I mean, there’s so many ways that it manifests, but that’s the one that I tend to see the most commonly especially in people who are not diagnosed.

Dara: I agree. And the thing that I always really love, like the very first principle I teach is weight loss science is simple. And I really love when you are, when you’re describing that, of like feeling that panic and feeling that like fear of what’s wrong with me, you’re actually sending a message to your body that this is a really big problem. And so just like, you know, we’re both moms, we’re going on a big road trip, or we’re doing something big, like we need to be prepared. And it feels like, okay, this is going to take a lot of effort. And so if you’re constantly telling yourself, this is really hard, I need to do something, then of course, you’re going to want to eat more food. Because if you have more food, more like energy on hand, You’re going to be more prepared to deal with the situation. And so when you don’t, when you’re constantly telling your body that you need more help, or this is going to be hard as all this energy, then of course it’s going to want to eat more food. And then that just feels really scary. And so when we can learn to go into our minds and, and calm that down, then, then we can kind of quiet that message and we can reassure our body. You know what? We actually have storage on our body. We can access this storage. It’s okay. It’ll be fine. 

Jen: Yeah. And what you just said there is so key because our nervous systems can easily be dysregulated and then your body thinks you’re in danger. Or that you, you know, you need to be prepared for something. And so you’re, you know, it thinks we need to up the energy levels at all time. And then your brain is looking for glucose. Then you’re craving more sugar, more carbs. And really, your body is just trying to maintain you know, safety and, and, and all that kind of stuff. But it kind of comes out in the way of like a little more excessive of you know, cravings and desires for those types of things. And then the other aspect of it, I mean, this is more to do with when, when somebody, not so much with putting on weight, but more when they you know, realize that they want to make a change and want to pursue weight loss the way that our brains tend to work, we don’t have an amazing working memory and, like, are more, you know, in the now as opposed to being able to, like, make goals that, and, and associate things with, like future success, future goals, things that are down the road. And so all those little parts kind of put in place this real struggle to get from point A to B. Do you know what I mean? Like, we know what to do, but we can’t, it’s, it’s a real struggle to execute. And if you’re not aware that that’s how you operate, then you’re kind of It just becomes a struggle to make it happen if you’re not accounting for the ways that you just happen to think differently. 

Dara: Yeah, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen those pictures or those videos of people where they couldn’t hear before and then they got ocular implants and it’s like the sweetest thing ever. They’re like, yeah, they can hear, they can, or like they, they can see and, and it’s something that they can see for the first time or hear for the first time. And one of the jobs that you and I do as coaches is that we help ourselves finally see the patterns. Because 95 percent of our thoughts are subconscious. And I was, we were just talking before this podcast of this new concept called, well, new to me, accidental programming, like our accidental identity. That’s what it is. And I was thinking about my life before coaching and my life after there were so many ways in my life that I felt like I was a victim that I didn’t have control. I didn’t have power. And then as soon as I started getting these tools, it was like I got these, the glasses or the hearing for the first time, because it meant that I could take a pause and I could make a decision on purpose of what do I want to think about what the person said to me or myself overeating at night? Like I can actually choose that I could be kind. And I could have some compassion and I could get some information on like, what, what’s going on, Dara? Like, why are you feeling so driven to eating at night? Like, why are you sad? Why do you feel this panic? So I’d love you to talk more about that inner dialogue and especially being an ADHD person on some strategies to to help yourself with that.

Jen: Yeah, so much of what you talked about is yeah, it’s exactly how I work with people, and the things that we talk about, and there’s all there is, is that extra added layer of understanding the differences, the neurological differences in how we think and operate, typically, because, you know, that another, like, even just the victim mindset, that is very pervasive in the ADHD community. From my, my observation, anyhow, is, well, I just have ADHD. That’s just like, this is the way my life is. And that’s not true. Like, it’s just a matter of understanding how you operate. And then if you want to make change to just ensure that you’re incorporating things to be able to execute that or live the life that you want in a way that works for you. So the, yeah, the self judgment is, is really strong. And along with this sort of like kind of chaotic thinking and overwhelm that happens really easily and trying to slow down is really tough, but it’s so important and taking the time to intentionally observe yourself like observing yourself is so important, but also so hard. And so when I talk to people at first, that’s the first thing I say is that to just take some time to kind of notice. How are you living your life on a day to day basis? What are the little things that you do? And just look at it through a curiosity lens as opposed to a judgment lens because this is just we’re just gathering information We just want to gather the information because if you don’t know where you’re at, you can’t get somewhere else, right?

And so that’s like the hardest part is just that gentle observance of your life without judgment, which can be really hard for people But and and it also sometimes requires just cues like I often tell people like it sounds silly But just do it like put a little reminder in your phone to just have certain times throughout the day where you stop and think like how am I feeling in my body right now? You Or what’s going on around me? Or what am I doing? And is there a reason why I’m doing it? Or what am I actually feeling right now? Because we are so much more externally driven. And so we have to make an effort and be intentional about looking inside at what’s going on. Because that’s the key to being able to make change and understanding ourselves well enough to make that change.

Dara: Well, it’s interesting. I was diagnosed with a learning disability in university. So my hand couldn’t keep up with my, my brain, my brain is so fast. And so in high school, like I got really good grades, but I was in a small high school, my teachers knew me and they must’ve just thought, Oh, we know what she’s talking about, but no one took the time to say like, we’re missing concepts or whatever in my writing. And it wasn’t until my second year of university, I had a professor that said, Hey, like, I don’t understand. You’re so smart in class. You’re so like with it, but your written work is just so poor, like what’s happening? And so it was very fascinating as, so I was 19 and I’m having to go and get help with my learning. And it was so interesting because my first class I went to, she said, okay, everyone, you know, say the alphabet and I was like, okay, and then she’s like, now say it backwards. I was like, what? What? This is crazy. This is like, it’s so hard. I’m like, okay, I can, I can read it backwards, but I couldn’t do it in my brain. And that experience was so helpful for me because I realized, you know, if we learn something a certain way all the time, that is just normal. But to understand how people who have like neurodiversity and have different, it’s like they, one time my son, he came over from school and he was like, I said, how was today? He goes, Oh, it’s really hard mom. And I said, Oh, what’s going on? He’s like, well, I want to play soccer, but I don’t know all the kids names. And I was like, what? And he’s like, yeah, like in the recess, like, how can I play soccer with kids if I don’t know all their names? And it was so funny to me because I was like, you actually don’t need to know their names to play soccer. But in his mind, just like when I learned the alphabet, I learned it from A to Z. But to ask me to repeat it, even if you wanted me to say the alphabet from M on, that would be hard because I’d have to like, I’ve got to kind of sing the song to get to it. Yeah. 

And so I always think about this. way of like honoring, like, we all have different ways of thinking. But when I realized, Oh, I never told him that you can play soccer and not know everyone’s names. He was holding himself back. And it’s the same thing with ADHD. It’s like, you’re not, nothing’s like, you’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just that your brain does things in a different way. And it’s been fascinating. So I have five kids and one had a reading delay, which I helped her with, went to a special program. One had some like major, like fear, like OCD, so we had to work through that. And then my two youngest ones have some pretty severe dyslexia. Yeah. And so I just been so excited though. I’m like, you, I’m the best mom for you because I get that you’re not broken. You just have to figure out how to use your specific brain. Because it offers you new opportunities that other people’s brains don’t have. 

Jen: Yes. Oh my goodness. I had that same experience with my kids. So my, my, well, we haven’t had our third child tested, but my kids have ADHD. But it really manifested in the anxiety side of it with my son and I had the same thoughts. I thought, I’m so honored to be his mom because I went through all of the same things when I was a kid and I was like, I know how to help him navigate this differently rather than just what other people are telling him to just fight through the fear and just, you know, just do it. That’s what everybody else does. Like, and that doesn’t work. Right? It’s a beautiful thing to just feel like you’re, you’re just the right mom for them. 

Dara: Right. I love that. And one, and one of my favorite things to say in my program is that we need to learn how to parent ourselves. So one of the problems, and I’m, oh man, I, I still feel so bad about how I used to treat myself. I was so mean to myself. I would just say like, what’s wrong with you, Dara? Like why haven’t you figured this out yet? And I would never speak to anybody else the way I would speak to myself. And so I encourage the women in the, in Love Yourself Thin, I say like, you Okay, so when you’re being rebellious, how do you want to parent yourself? Because, let’s be honest. There are many times like even right now, my studio is so messy because sometimes I just think if my mom came up here, she would be upset and I’d be like, yeah, it’s my house. I can do whatever I want. Like, honestly, like Jen, it’s so embarrassing, but there’s times where I just feel really rebellious. Yes. And I even said to my mom just recently, I was like, Mom, I was like, I don’t know what happens inside of me, but you will say something to me and I re, I recognize that I’m 50 and I recognize that you’re 80, but I still want to be rebellious right now when you just said that thing to me, it’s just so crazy that I’m still pretending. I’m like, did I really want to be rebellious? It’s so wild. 

So but, so we all have to learn to parent, like how do you best parent you when you are being rebellious? How do you best parent yourself when you’re like beating yourself up? How do you parent yourself when you are like speaking to yourself in such a sad way? And so just like we’re proud of us being those kinds of parents to our kids. Like, how can we do that for ourselves? And I think that’s one of my, that’s one of my successes of why I’ve been able to keep this weight off because I am so much kinder, so much gentler and sometimes firm with myself and that’s okay.

Jen: Yeah, and those things are so key, especially with, well, for everybody, of course, but especially with ADHD because there’s so many areas where we have compensated and sort of molded ourselves to fit into what we think is right. Which is just the way that people who don’t think like us might operate and it’s that adds to the exhaustion, right?

Dara: That’s what I was telling the story before I’m like, that’s, that’s what I sometimes see. I still jump around sometimes. My brain goes so fast. One time my husband said recently, he was like, it’s really hard having a conversation with you sometimes Dara, because you’ve already had like five conversations in your head and I only get like the first little bit of each one of those five conversations. And I was like, You’re, you’re right. Yeah. I didn’t finish. 

Jen: But to you, they’re all connected.

Dara: I know. I was like, I just finished that one in my head. I’m like moving on. Okay. Cause I have like this turbo speed brain. Yeah. But that was what I was going to say. So these the problem is we, we get these overcompensation. My youngest son, Oh my goodness. He is suave. In fact, I just went to his parent, like parent teacher interviews and the team was cause he’s on an, on an IPP, an individual plan. And they were like, we are worried about him because everyone wants to be his friend. Like he is the most popular kid pretty much in the school. It’s crazy. And so he overcompensates. Yeah, in that way, because he is in grade six, and he’s reading at like a mid grade one level. And so in order for him to compensate, like that takes a lot of effort to compensate. And so that’s what I was referring to for the ADHD. Of course, it’s going to take more energy. Of course it’s going to feel hard. And what I’m curious about is when you work with clients, what starts happening when they recognize, first of all, it’s okay, I’m not broken. And second of all, them learning how to, It’s, it’s like readjusting their energy into a way that’s more productive.

Jen: Yeah, it’s it’s really interesting to watch because I went through it myself, of course, but quite often, well, there’s a really strong unlearning aspect to it, right? Like once you recognize. Oh, I’ve been doing this to compensate, or this is just how my brain works. It’s not that there’s something wrong with me, but there can actually be a lot of grief involved in that for people because they look back on their lives and they feel like I spent all this time being so mad at myself and so mean to myself. And so you kind of have to just hold the space for that to get through those emotions of, of feeling like oh, if only things had been different or, you know, 

Dara: had I known better, do you know how many women will say to me, like, where were you 40 years ago? And I’m like, I, and then I feel guilt and then I feel really bad. I was like, I’m sorry. I’m like, but when I was like 40 years ago, I was 10. I did not know all these things. Yeah. 

Jen: But then it turns, I mean, it’s grief, but it’s also relief, right? Because we, yeah. I mean, just the agony of trying to fix yourself, like thinking for so long that there’s something wrong with you and seeing other people seem to like do things effortlessly and you’re like, this is like not working for me. But once you start to understand all those different areas where you just have to make this tweak and think about it in a different way or approach it in a different way. And then it actually can work. So it ends up being this combination of learning to do things differently, but then also learning to be compassionate with yourself. Because having spent years and years and years of just, Just so, such frustration with ourselves is like learning to release that is the biggest gift when it comes to learning how to, to, to lose weight in a way that, that feels right for you. 

Dara: Yeah. I had this experience and I want to share this example just because sometimes people are triggered obviously about weight loss and we kind of, we actually go on this whole tangent about what people should like me for who I am and I shouldn’t have to lose weight for anybody. And actually both Jen and I are on the same page. We don’t want you to lose weight for anybody other than for your life, your quality of life. Like, and you can’t fight it. One of the most embarrassing stories of my life was when I was nine months pregnant over nine months pregnant and I was sitting at the doctor’s office, they had already induced me. It didn’t work and he sent me home and I was in so much pain and I looked at him and I said, I can’t believe you choose to have that belly because he had like, he looked like he was nine months pregnant. And I said that out loud, Jen, said it out loud. And I remember like saying the words and I remember like saying to my brain, you’re actually saying that out loud. You shouldn’t, you shouldn’t say that. But I was in so much pain. And I said to him, I’m like, how do you choose to keep that belly on you because it is so uncomfortable carrying this 50 pounds. And that baby was like 10 pounds, four ounces, 24 inches long. Like that was brutal. But so anyways, and I’m sure he didn’t choose to have that belly. Like, I’m sure he just hasn’t figured out what the problem is, but this is a story I wanted to kind of bring back. 

So when I was, I had my first child and I was with my sister who didn’t have any kids yet and he was crying in the grocery store because he wanted something and some people would think he was being bratty. And I remember in that moment, and I had some pressure because I had my sister beside me of like, you know, what’s wrong with you? Aren’t you a good mom? Like, why is your kid having this temper tantrum at the grocery store? And he’s this like curly red head little boy and he’s just like having this tantrum. And I knelt down and I put my hands in his hands and I said, it looks like you’re having a rough time. And he just looked at me and he’s like, yeah, I really want that toy. And he actually didn’t talk. So he didn’t talk till he was three. So he, we learned sign language, he understood me and everything. But so basically it was like, you know, he didn’t say, yeah, I want that thing. But he communicated to me that he wanted that thing. And I just said, I’m sorry, right now we’re not going to get that, but I can just give you a hug and I just love you and it’s going to be okay. But I’m your mom and right now I’m not going to give you what you want when you cry. It’s not going to happen. And it was so interesting because my sister was like, are you doing that? You should spank him because like, that’s what we grew up with. And, you know, it’s interesting now, my sister now has her own kids and, you know, she has her own journey with her own parenting and all of that, but we only knew what we only knew. Yeah. And so when I realized that I could parent differently, that I could actually address the real issue, it changed everything for me. Oh, and, and I think that is what we all have to do for ourselves. Like we’re not purposely going out and binge eating all this stuff because we think it’s a good idea to gain a bunch of weight and to walk around like the doctor with this big fat belly. We don’t choose that, but we don’t know any other way. 

Jen: Yeah, and that even just the way you describe that with your son is, it kind of in a way reflects what’s different about the way that we approach things is that, you know, diet culture or whatever you want to call it of like, just go on this restrictive diet plan and meal plan and you’ll lose weight. It’s just the same as just punishing a child when they’re, you know, quote unquote misbehaving. But instead to get down and like acknowledge, okay, you’re feeling these feelings. And that’s maybe why you’re here, but at the same time, we have to do things differently if we want to make change, right? And, and just acknowledging, like, it’s never going to be like that though, those efforts to do it in a strict or like a restrictive you know, willpower exactly way, like maybe on paper you, you get results, but if you’re not digging down and figuring out why, why has this happened in the first place? And it’s not in a nonjudgmental way, because what we’re trying to help women do and get after is not, the end result is not we want them to be like skinny supermodels or something. It’s more just that we want them to understand themselves and care for themselves in such a way and it’s almost like a, like a side effect of making that change that their bodies change. And they often say that they just want to feel at home in their bodies and they’re allowed to, to want that. Right.

Dara: And they also, like, I just had a new member sign up today and she’s super capable, like unbelievable, like doing her PhD at 62, done amazing things in her life. But she is constantly, by the end of the day, she’s just like, I am, she’s taking care of everybody else. everything else. And so that those two little chocolates or the little like the ice cream or the cereal or whatever, because like she has so much pressure every day and she hasn’t learned the tools to release that pressure. And so that food is, and again, like what you were talking about earlier about feeling like when you’re talking, I just have so much stuff to do. So it’s like your body is saying, well, we better eat more food then. Yes, exactly. And so the other thing that is really, really tricky is that we have societal I, I don’t know if I could call it a scapegoat, probably, of having a baby that guarantees you’re just gonna gain weight and then you can, you, you should just not worry about taking it off. Another one is perimenopause and menopause. Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . So I kind of feel like those are three things that. we use as a scapegoat, but we don’t even realize we’re doing it because it feels, it feels like it takes the pressure off of us, but it’s another layer of like not understanding what’s really going on. it’s like smoke, right? It’s a fog. And so if you think, Oh, well, I guess just because of this, Yeah. Because I had a baby, I can’t, I can’t ever have my body back or because of perimenopause, I can never have my body back or, yeah. 

Jen: And then other things too, like, Oh, I think my hormones are dysregulated and people don’t even know what that means, but they’re like, Oh, yeah, I guess I just, I’m just stuck like this.

Dara: Yeah. I guess it’s just good. And so it’s the same thing with ADHD and I’m doing a workshop on anxiety and Do you know how much of anxiety is, can be reduced and we can change, we can go into our parasympathetic nervous system, we can learn to calm ourselves. We can reduce, even anxiety is like a road, but we can learn not to go down that road as long and as far. And we can, like, it’s just, we are not trapped and paramenopause, menopause, those do not have to be weapons. Like those do not have to be like a life sentence. 

Jen: No, and you, you have, I’m sure have seen this in your membership and the women that you coach, like it, does that mean that as soon as you’re what, 35, you can’t lose weight anymore? I don’t think so. I don’t think so. 

Dara: Yeah. Yeah. Like I have, I just did a, I spent a day with one of my clients this week and we’re doing a TV show, and I spent a day with her and she’s 70 and she has lost 70 pounds. And we went on the beach together and she’s walking on, it’s like a pebbly beach. And she said, I could never have, I could never have walked on this beach before. I would have always had to sit up there and my kids and my husband would have been down there. And she goes, and now my granddaughters are coming. And it was so fun because she gathered shells and she gathered rocks and she has places in her yard for all of them. She just likes to collect them and I thought, what a gift she gave herself that at 70 years old, and she has struggled with her weight for 35 years. Wow. And she has beat herself up for 35 years because she felt like with her kids and she felt like, was I embarrassing to them? And then she felt like she couldn’t do certain things with them limiting. And I thought this is so much deeper than counting calories because counting calories actually doesn’t even work. 

Jen: Yeah, well, it’s just a means to an end. And then you’re just, I mean, it doesn’t get you where you want to go because you’re still you, you’re still you. 

Dara: And the problem is like, they don’t even, it doesn’t even make sense. And all the research that I’ve been reading recently is, is saying like, let’s not even talk about calories anymore, because It was just this idea of a calorie is just how long it takes to burn something. So like we live on Vancouver Island. How fun is that? I can’t wait to meet you in person. But like fir burns at a different rate than Cedar, then burns a different rate than Arbutus. And so different foods, even though they burn at different rates, it’s not showing what’s actually happening in our body. It’s not like a hundred thousand calories of potato chips versus a thousand calories of carrots, your body has to do a whole bunch of different stuff to process all of that. So it’s not even a good measure of what you’re doing. And we think about like even carbs, not all carbs are created equally, not all protein. And we, even they’re talking about an importance of pairing fat with protein. If you’re eating certain kinds of protein and you’re not having enough fat, it’s not going to do you any good. Yeah. So anyways, we could go on and on, but talk about distraction and that’s a problem too, is we can distract ourselves with, this is why I haven’t lost weight and this is why I haven’t, and instead of saying, you know, what, what’s, what’s going on for you? Mm-Hmm. . 

Jen: You know, I think people think that’s a lot easier. Well, I’ll just go to a naturopath or I’ll get my allergies tested or like, we are looking, like you said before, for a scapegoat and that’s okay. Like, it, it makes sense that we think that way. Yeah. Yeah. But I think a lot of it we know deep down that we. just really have to deal with some stuff. And it might not be an easy road at first, but we’re going to be so thankful that we loved ourselves enough to, to want to make change. 

Dara: Yeah. So in the membership, I always call the ladies, my brave hearts, because we really do have to, we have to like face some stuff. Today I, I got some coaching and I was open to receiving it. And it was actually kind of gross. Like I was like, I can’t believe that this is the way I thought about this situation. I’m actually embarrassed that this is what I’ve been doing, but I didn’t realize how much I was judging this person cause I was so busy worrying about how they were judging me. And I had all this evidence of like, well, they judged me on this and then they judged me on that. And then when I, when I was able to step back, I was able to look at, Oh, the reason I’m keeping all this evidence is because I’m so worried that because I’m actually judging them. And so they must be judging me and it’s like this really unhealthy thing. And so when I can acknowledge it, then I can make peace with, okay, how do I want to show up for this person moving forward? And I take that responsibility for me, which like, it actually seems easier to blame other people for your problems, but then it puts you again back into being a victim. It puts you back into being afraid and it keeps you small, keeps you feeling shame and it doesn’t allow you to move forward in the way that you want to,

Jen: and I always think of it like that as like, I mean, it’s kind of funny to think of it like that. But I think of that worrying and, and, you know, absorbing, like, worry about the judgment of others or what they think or their opinions around. It just feels like weight on you. And when you release that, you just feel so much lighter, so much more free to just be you and not worry about that kind of stuff. 

Dara: It’s, it’s so awesome. Amazing. It’s freedom. All right. Yeah. So we have to go. But so tell people how can they learn about if they have ADHD and resources that you want to offer?

Jen: Yeah, I should put some resources out with all of my stuff. There’s, oh my gosh, like, there’s so many different, I’m going to put some, I’ll give you some spots that people can go that we can put in the show notes, especially women, because it’s quite often different. But I’m always on Instagram. You can find me on Instagram, jenniferwatts. ca. And I have a free resource as well. I have my call method for weight loss with ADHD that just kind of points out some of the differences that you might encounter which you can find on my, I think that’s linked in my Instagram as well, but I can send

Dara: you can send it to me. We’ll get it all linked in my. Yeah. I have a really great podcast team that takes care of all those logistics for me. The gift I gave myself. I don’t have a cleaning lady, but I do have a podcast lady. Yes. She does a really good job. That’s amazing. All right. Well, it’s been so great talking to you and we will see you.

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3 Top Weight Loss Myth Busters: Get to the REAL
weight loss problem

February 5th, 2025 at 3pm Pacific

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