#115: Weight Loss and Me-Tober

weight loss and me-toberDo you feel like it’s selfish spending time or money on yourself? Do you feel guilty whenever you take time out for yourself? In this episode we discuss why you are your own best investment. When you don’t take care of yourself then we don’t show up as the best version of yourself. So I want you to ask yourself, how are you treating yourself?

If you are not taking care of yourself, if you are not the healthiest version of yourself, if you are always running yourself ragged, if you’re always exhausted and tired, you will never be able to take care of other people in the way that you want to. When you invest in yourself, when you learn tools to clean things up in your brain, you are going to be a much happier person. Listen to hear how the Love Yourself Thin membership is learning all about self care for the month of October!

Weight Loss for Quilters | Weight Loss and Self-Sabotage 

If you are ready to lose weight and change the way you think about hunger, sign up for the lifetime access membership for Love Yourself Thin! Doors are open and you can find all the information by clicking here.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • You are your own best investment
  • What is Me-Tober
  • We have 65,000 thoughts a day and 95% of those thoughts are subconscious
  • A belief is just a thought that we think all the time

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • If you are ready to lose weight and change the way you think, sign up for the lifetime access membership for Love Yourself Thin! Doors are open and you can find all the information by clicking here.
  • Leave me a review in Apple

Full Episode Transcript:

Dara Tomasson Podcast

115. Weight Loss and Me-Tober

Do you feel like it’s selfish spending time on yourself? Well, if you do, you’re in the perfect place because today I have a concept and an offer that’s probably going to blow your mind. I’m Dara Tomasson and this is Love Yourself Thin, episode 115, Weight Loss and Me- Tober.

What the heck is Me- Tober? I love it so much. I love having fun with my business. I love being creative with my business. Just like I love having fun and being creative raising my kids. When I was a school teacher, I loved it. I definitely love some structure. I love me some structure, but I also love to have fun. And in fact, when I was a school teacher, I would have planned times where we would just be spontaneous. Because it’s important, but I also love the structure. So I’m going to share with you this concept that I’m doing in October. So if you’re listening to this podcast on the day it comes out, October 4th, we’re only in day four. So it is not too late for you to join. It’s not too late for you to take advantage of this. If you’re listening to this later, this is all being recorded and it’s a module in my podcast. I’m going to be teaching this very interesting concept that mixes fun with science and helping you to really hone in on how neuro plastic our brain is and how no matter how old you are, no matter how set in your ways you think you are, it is 100 percent possible for you to change. And I see it day after day.

But before I do that, I have to share a win because I am so excited for my clients and how they are rewiring their brains through learning how to celebrate themselves and learning how to stop living a life that feels so hard. And so this one is a great one and it’s a simple one, but it’s a very practical example. So this member of Love Yourself Thin, she is on week, I think she’s on week five, and so she’s still working on no sugar and flour, and she’s doing really well. She’s excited about the progress that she’s making, that she’s building this self confidence that just feels so wonderful after feeling like, when I first met her, she said menopause is the worst thing in the world and she hates it. And she’s just blamed her weight gain on menopause. And yesterday she went out with her brother and sister in law and she was able to make good choices. And she was able to look at the food choices, be able to think about it, and even though there was some other things that people were eating that looked really yummy, she realized that her health and her body really does appreciate eating the foods that are helping her to reduce inflammation and to lose weight. And it’s so exciting because she’s down to 199 and that number has been on the scale for the last three days. And that’s really helping her because it’s reinforcing the things that you’re doing are working, keep going, so happy for her. The other thing that she did too was she actually went and advocated for herself to go to get acupuncture that makes such a difference for her body. And even though the girl that does her acupuncture, it was her day off, she said, is it possible for you to join? And she did. And so if you don’t ask, you don’t get. And so it was just a great experience. So happy for her.

All right. So let’s talk about me- tober. And if you want to go back to episode 19, oh, sorry, 17. I talked about selfishness. And actually it was really fun because I looked up the definition of selfishness on the internet and my episode came up. And as I’m creating this me-tober event in October of 2023, one of the biggest challenges coming up is Halloween in my case, my birthday and Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, all the food that comes around there. All the parties the gatherings and So I really want to empower women around themselves, their food, making good choices and changing their relationship with food. But a lot of women and men I’m sure, but I just focus work with the women is that feeling of it’s selfish of me to spend time on me and my brain.

So this definition is interesting. Another definition of being selfish is having or showing concern only for yourself and not for the needs or feelings of others. And I’m interested in that. So when we say it’s selfish of me to take care of myself, I’m curious. I don’t know if you’ve had babies or not, but it was really hard having a baby because of their neediness on you. So when they could only go two hours, three hours between eating. They were growing so fast and they needed that nourishment. And so they would cry and so being able to get up and take care of them, that was a way for me to be able to serve them. So was it selfish of me to think ugh I’m kind of tired. No, I’m just being honest. Like I don’t really love this and it’s not selfish, but it’s something that I’m doing that’s difficult. So I’m acknowledging this is how I feel. So when you look at the definition of having or showing concern of only for yourself and not for the needs of others, where do you fall in that? So if you’re a mom, that you don’t go and exercise, you don’t eat healthy because you’re just always grabbing food on the run, always doing everything for everyone else. So you’re not really showering, you’re not really doing your hair. You’re not you know, putting on some makeup or feeling good about yourself. Are you showing up as the best version of you? Are you showing up with some bitterness, with some, you know, pain, physical pain because you’re overweight? With some brain fog because you’re, like, grabbing a drink to stay awake, to, to keep doing all the things?

I was coaching a client today who has had great success in my program, who’s really done so well, and she was stressing out about her weight. Even though she’s lost over 80 pounds, she’s kind of dealing with some situations in her family and she doesn’t have the same hands on touch that she would like to have just because of distance. And so when she had this thought and she realized this thought created the feeling of confusion. And so now she’s being fueled out of confusion. She’s feeling like she can’t quite get it right. And so all of her actions are not journaling, not paying attention to her feelings, not sitting with processing her emotions. And so what is she doing? She’s eating. She’s overeating. She’s eating when she’s not hungry. And so then what happens? That’s right. She’s not getting the results that she wants and she’s thinking it’s selfish to do journaling and that one of the problems was she had her four year old granddaughter over for four days. And so what happened? She fell into bad habits of not taking any time for herself, even though she could have her husband take the four year old for a little while and give her that one hour of her to do her journaling. And she was then falling into other bad habits of finishing off the plate of her granddaughter. And so she was going back into those old habits that don’t serve her. And then of course, she’s not creating the kind of joy. She’s feeling more anxiety and more fear. And so it’s actually really a beautiful thing for her to spend time on her.

You are all your own best investment. Now I’m not saying you have to spend hours. Now I’m going to give you this really crazy example. I’m not sure if you remember the show, I think it was called wife swap. And so they took these extremes. And it was so interesting. They did a swap where the one mom, she was the wife of a dairy farmer. And so she would start every day at like four 30 or five o’clock every morning. And she was just like running everything and doing everything for everyone else. And it was crazy, but she actually loved it. She loved running her kids to all their different events and supporting her husband and doing the finances and helping him with the milking and cooking for everyone. And then there was another mom who lived I don’t know suburbia somewhere and she loved sleeping. And so the husband would get the kids up. He would make all their breakfast, make all their lunches get them off to school, make her food, take her food to her bed and she basically stayed in bed until like 3 oclock and I think she was awake by the time the kids came home from school. I’m not sure, and it was just so interesting to see, and then they swapped roles. And to see each one in their different role. And the reason I bring it up is that everyone has their own unique experiences and their own unique patterns and beliefs and ways that they think about it. And in this one family, it was just normal and natural for the the mom to be in bed for the whole day and the husband to do everything and he did the groceries and he did the dinner and I think the kids had certain parts to do as well, but in their family dynamic that was acceptable to them. That was what they wanted to do. And it’s super interesting that the dairy farmer, that was just normal for them. And we don’t have to judge other people. I could say that I think that was pretty selfish of her, but really, I mean, she’s just missing out on different opportunities and different ways to connect with her family.

So one of the reasons I also share this and the reason I have this podcast, one of them is to help you to see things in a different way, to help you look at things in a different way. And we have these beliefs. Now I’m going to share this and I know I share it before, but we have approximately 65, 000 thoughts a day. There’s so many thoughts and then 95 percent of our thoughts are subconscious. So I’m happy. I’m this, I’m that. Those are just thoughts that we just believe about ourselves. And then a belief is a thought that we just think a lot. So if you’re just told all the time that you talk really fast or that you are inconsiderate or that you are selfish or you’re charitable, if you’re just been told that and you just believe that or think that all the time then that’s just a belief and you never question it.

And so one of my objectives for this podcast is to have you think about how are you treating yourself? how do you think about yourself? And it’s interesting in this definition it says selfish is devoted to or caring only for oneself, concerned primarily with one’s own interest, benefits, welfare regardless of others. So is that true for you? And if you are only caring for yourself, but that’s your choice but if you want to take better care of your children and better care of your body and better care of your marriage. If you’re only thinking of yourself, is that even true, right?

I hope I’m making the connections. If not, please let me know because one of the problems is if you are not taking care of yourself, if you are not the healthiest version of yourself, if you are always running yourself ragged, if you’re always exhausted and tired, You will never be able to take care of other people in the way that you want to because you’re always exhausted. So, where do you draw the line? And this example I gave of my client who had her four year old granddaughter and she was just doing everything for everyone and she wasn’t taking that one hour every day that she just needs to do her own journaling and just making her life happier. When she was finally able to say I need this one hour and if I don’t have this one hour, I’m not going to show up in my happiest, healthiest self. Is that selfish, or is that the most loving, wonderful thing you can do for yourself? I know that my husband and my kids, they say quite often, they’re like, Mom, you were an awesome mom. My husband says, you’re an awesome wife. But now that you’re a life coach, and that you practice these life coaching tools, you’re a lot more fun to be around. Because I don’t put so much pressure on them. They don’t have to perform a certain way for me to love them. Or even, this is an example that just happened last week where I put on Facebook that I’m looking for a house cleaner. And I said, I’m looking for some suggestions of house cleaners. And so I got a bunch of different ones and so I’m gonna be trying out some different house cleaners. And this lady at church said, well, why are you looking for house cleaners? You have kids. And, Oh, it was a bit of a knife to the gut. And I said, well, they don’t clean as well as I’d like to. She’s like, well, why don’t you teach them? And I just, I had to take a step back. I’m not going to lie to you. I was a little bit offended at first. And some of my kids clean better than others. And I kind of had to make a decision there and I’ve thought about it. Well, do I expect my kids to go to school full time, to play all the level of basketball, to be involved in the community, church, they go to church for like five mornings a week. They wake up on their own, they make their own lunches, they make their own breakfast. And am I expecting them to clean the toilets at the same level? And especially them like going to tournaments and all the things that they have going on on Saturdays? Or am I going to teach them like a basic cleaning and, well, do I have the cleaning lady come like every other week and then they, they keep up the maintenance throughout? Like what is realistic for me? What do I want? And it’s been so empowering for me to kind of take a step back and decide, yeah, I want the deep clean every other week and then having them do some maintenance on that. That sounds like a good idea and that actually sounds like a really loving idea because my kids do a lot and they’re pretty amazing, I have to say.

So let’s go back to me-tober. So me-tober is a program where I meet you every morning from 8. 30 to 9, Monday to Friday for 21 days in October, the month of October. And we know that the science says, the brain science is that when you do something for 21 days, that grows a habit. And then we do 60 days that cements that habit. And starting on October 9th, we have the 90 day workbook. And the 90 day workbook is me teaching you how to create permanent weight loss with the five steps. And I teach very, very basic, and then I build up into a spiral curriculum. And that’s starting on October 9th. And you have three to five minute videos every day that give a summary of that information. And so I am setting you up for success. I am teaching you how to take care of you. You’re going to be healthier. You’re not going to need people to be a certain way for you to feel good about yourself. You can go to church or go to the grocery store or go at places and people can make comments that might trigger you, but then you don’t have to be derailed by it.

So when you invest in yourself, when you learn tools to clean things up in your brain and to help you, you are going to be a much happier person. And you’re going to feel a lot stronger and have a lot more trust and confidence in yourself as the eating season comes. And as the opportunity for so many people, you have so many demands on you, can you do this? Can you do that? And you’re going to be able to learn to say yes when you want to, and you’re able to say no when you really want to, you don’t have to feel guilty about any of it. So you do need to be a member of Love Yourself Thin. But then you get this incredible opportunity. It is very exciting and it happens when you finally invest in your brain.

I’m going to give one or two more examples. So, I have taught free motion quilting and I wonder if you would ever say it’s very selfish of you to learn how to free motion quilt. Would you ever tell someone that? And that it’s really selfish of you to go and learn, take those classes. Or driving, would you say it’s very selfish of you to take driving classes? Because what happens when you learn to drive? How is your life better because you can drive? So my question is, why would it be selfish of you to learn how your brain works and learn how to create the life that you want? Because you are investing in your brain when you take driving classes and you are investing in your brain when you learn anything. So why would it be selfish of you to learn how to use your brain? Such a good question. I’ll never forget when I was learning about life coaching and I eventually invested a lot of money to become a life coach. It was 25, 000 American dollars and I remember thinking, Oh, this is crazy that I would spend this much money on myself, on my brain. And it’s so interesting because since that time, since that 25, 000 American dollar investment, I have been able to put myself in this chair to help hundreds of women change their lives. And not only are they changing their lives, but their children are changing, their grandchildren are changing, their health has improved, their mental health, they’re stopping these really unhealthy cycles. It’s incredible.

And so I am so glad I invested in my brain, not only for my own health, my own happiness, but my children’s, and now these clients of mine. So Me-tober, it’s happening. You come and join us. I promise you will not regret it. And the more that you can invest in your brain, the more that you can clean up all of these things that are really stressing you out, the more happiness you’ll have, I promise. I can’t wait to hear what happens when you join and when you have your own personal transformation. And I will talk to you later. Bye bye.

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